Its time for #MeetMolotovMonday! Heres Special Events Coordinator and Company Member Adam R Adkins with the worst death he can imagine: Whenever people think of the absolute worst way to die, it can get pretty depressing. Sad. Scared. Alone. Desperate. Forgotten. Unloved. Yawn. Theres a lot worse ways to go than the boring Ivan Ilyich way. What about drowning? Did you know that your body reacts differently depending on if youre drowning in salt water or fresh water? Salt water is basically a barrier between you and air. If you can remove the salt water from your lungs, youre in pretty good shape. Minus the possible thickening blood to counteract salt in your lungs that could maybe lead to a heart attack in 8-10 minutes, of course. But fresh water is even worse. Even if you survive the drowning, the water can rush to your unprotected lung cells and cause fatal tissue damage. Or the lung cells could bust, exposing water to the capillaries and diluting your blood, eventually leading to a disruption of hearts electrical activity and subsequent heart attack within 2-3 minutes. Fire also sucks. A third degree burn is called such because it burns away all three levels of your skin and permanently damages the nerve endings, sweat glands, hair follicles and all of that stuff that can be considered skin. It can even burn down to the tissue and bone. And you can still survive that, amazingly. You can have all of the flesh cooked off of your body, end up in the hospital, go through several intensely painful skin grafts to hopefully one day live a life that isnt pure agony day after day, Then, after your 14th unimaginably agonizing surgery and rehab, you get an infection and die. All of that torture for nothing. Or how about spiders? Id lay some spider science down on you, but I dont feel the need to justify why spiders are awful. Also, I refuse to give myself night terrors by Googling Worlds Deadliest Spider. Throwing all of these together, I think I would say that the worst death would be drowning in a pool of salt water. Then right before you die, youre lifted up and thrown in a pool of fresh water. That would probably be pretty refreshing for a moment, but then youre completely submerged and feel inevitable death fast approaching. You swim to the surface, desperately sucking in a gulp of fresh air, only to have a giant spider thrown on your face. Also, the spider is on fire. Also, it turns out the water is actually diluted pee. So you can drown in the fresh pee water or get your face burned off by fire spiders. After a solid half hour of desperate flailing in piss and burning spiders, you some how get to the edge of the pool. You lift yourself out of it. You suck in as much as you can, coughing up mucousy globs of fresh water urine and detached spider legs. After 2 solid minutes of coughing, dry-heaving and likely vomiting, you feel the weight of an elephant stepping on your chest. You wrench and twist as your body goes into shock from your delayed heart attack. And as you struggle to take your final breaths, the last thing you see from your stinging, watered eyes is a final dump truck of fire spiders being emptied on your body. Suck on that, Tolstoy.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 04:25:19 +0000