It’s a horrible feeling to know that things fall apart. It’s terrible to feel like everything is like there is nothing is left. The world seems like wet cardboard that can disintegrate at a touch. I try to care, I really do. Sometimes I can grab a hand hold by helping someone in need, focusing on others gives me some purpose. Today feels like, what is the point. I haven’t been in a depression this bad in the past 3 years, but I guess all things come eventually. I have my dogs, so I have to be attentive to them and they keep me mechanically moving forward through my day. The tears I feel come flowing full force and I am damned if I can make them stop. I scream in my head and rail against the fact that my voice can’t be heard over the anguish and sorrow I feel. Life beats you down until you are a bloody pulp on the inside. I hear the rain at my window and I feel a second of peace, but I know that it won’t last. Once the storm hits, you can only ride it out and hope the casualties are kept to a minimum. I know this sounds like drama especially posted here. Believe me it’s not…..If I don’t voice it no one will know that it is happening. The sadness is eating me alive.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Jun 2013 20:19:33 +0000
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