It’s been a long time since I had this feeling of pressure last time. Actually, I can’t even remember clearly when was the last time I felt this kind of pressure. When it was not long to go before I finished my undergraduate degree, I was confirmed an internship position straight after I finished exam. Then when it was about time towards the end of my internship, my boss offered me a full-time position at work. And pretty much since I was in university, I have always had more than one job at the same time. Back in those days, I tried to look for opportunities to gain as much experience as I possibly could so to keep myself a little closer to the competitive edge, and also to make some extra money to support myself. I have been living in a different country on my own away from family since I was a teenager. I suppose that partly explained my survival instinct, because deep inside my mind I understand that I am the only person I can count on. Then all these years have gone by, I have been very fortunate that I am still around surviving. And pretty much since I finished my undergraduate degree, I have been able to support myself all on my own. But then this time, I really start to feel the pressure. The last few months have been great, I submitted my thesis, then came overseas here to help out on a research project in the industry, managed to find a little time to do some travelling in several European cities… And before I know it’s almost home time now. But then what next? When uni is over, when my duty on the project is over, when everything is over, what’s next? Because I had to come overseas here for the project for a few months, so I had to quit pretty much everything I had been doing back home before I left. For the first time after I finished university, I can see myself walking closer and closer towards the scary “no man’s land” now. I’ve heard people talk about how difficult it is looking for jobs after uni these days, the issues about unemployment in the country, how expensive it is to pay for bills and stuff… But then this is the very first time that I’m actually feeling it. All a sudden, I feel like I just had a revelation and there is this whole new level of respect and understanding on what those people were saying, I almost feel like there is this sense of guilt blaming myself that why was I not showing a little more understanding before? I have to say though, one reason that I don’t really have anything coming up immediately is because I wanted to take a proper break and do some travelling, perhaps go away for a working holiday in a different country, before I commit into something new again, so I have not really been looking for anything for a while. That’s something I’ve always been wanting to do since I started university, and I figured if I don’t take this chance to take on this challenge and adventure now during this time, while I can still afford to be a little naïve and rebellious, I may never have a chance again to do it for the rest of my life. I’ve always believed that the eye-opening experience that you get by travelling, by going to different places, seeing and learning different cultures, meeting people from various backgrounds, the way that how you navigate and look after yourself in a foreign place… These are experiences that would help you grow and shape your mind, and there is no way you can learn these things just by sitting in the school. So what’s next? I guess there is not much time left before I really have to make up my mind now.
Posted on: Sun, 29 Sep 2013 08:00:50 +0000
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