Ive become a night owl and not a morning person... its rough getting up in the morning and I love dreaming... I learn so much in my dreams. Here are some dream tips Ive compiled since childhood... Dream Tip #1: Never save your candy for later... Dream Tip #2: To FLY... hold your hands out, run for about 10 to 15 yards, and JUMP! To LAND... DONT! No need; youre in the best place possible... plus, the zombies... SWEET DREAMS. Dream Tip #3: When confronted by a werewolf, look at him straight in the eyes, laugh as loud as you can; this will confuse the werewolf and make him run... if your spouse says something the next day, pretend you know not what she speaks of. This, plus a machete, will work for zombies, as well. Dream Tip #4: When you wake up violently screaming and crying after a bad dream (i.e. NIGHTMARE), wait at least 5 minutes before falling back to sleep. Go to the bathroom, even if you dont have to, just to make sure the nightmare is over. Before you return to your slumber, wake up your spouse and let her know you both may be in danger... Dream Tip #5: Dont change your computer password while in a dream; it will change to incorrect by morning... I know, scary... Dream Tip #6 : If someone makes you cry in a dream and your spouse asks whats wrong?, when you wake up, tell her that zombies were trying to take her... and they did, thus the tears... then go back to sleep and try to get her back; BE CAREFUL!... must be done within 5 minutes of waking up (see Dream Tip #4). Dream Tip #7: Dont confuse your own heartbeat with the steps of a werewolf, unless he has a limp or is dragging a zombie... Bump...bump.......Bump...bump.......Bump...bump.......Bump...bump....... Dream Tip #8: While dreaming, dont yawn and say, Im exhausted, Im going to bed; it makes you appear lazy.......... for those who dont get this.......... cause youre already asleep... Dream Tip #9: If you ever get stuck in an elevator during a dream, swing it back and forth... this will flip it over and immediately turn it into a roller coaster... this is how you get from one point to another... this technique is known as elevorting... (elevator teleporting) Dream Tip #10: Rather than pinching yourself to verify you are in a dream, pinch someone else; if they scream hysterically and their head spins around multiple times, you are probably in a special category of dreams called a nightmare... RUN! Dream Tip #11: If you come up with a great idea or solve a problem while in a dream, dont just write them down somewhere... say them EXTRA LOUD & youll be certain your spouse will ask you why you were yelling out, remove tag from the source code on line 17!!!!!... Dream Tip #12: NEVER attend meetings in your dream; they dont count for professional development, even if you get the paper signed... this applies for defensive driving classes, as well (online or face-to-face)... Dream Tip #13 If you are driving around in your dream, dont consider gas mileage or fuel efficiency; STEP ON IT! Especially if there are werewolves or zombies in the vehicle next to you... yes, they drive, like maniacs, mind you... but, still. Dream Tip #14 When you are being tracked down by someone (may not be a werewolf or zombie) and you cannot yell out, pull out the aforementioned machete (see Dream Tip #3). Where did you get a machete? Youre in a dream; all you have to do is think it... of course, it would have helped if you hadnt thought of the zombie... Dream Tip #15 If you dream that you are falling, hold your breath making your cheeks and the rest of you puff out; this will soften the blow and make you bounce.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 01:36:01 +0000
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