Ive come up with a new insult that I think is excellent: diddleheaded fig brain. The only downside was I was aiming it at myself. I went up to the San Fernando Valley today, 8 miles north. Ive been there millions of times when my daughter used to live there, but not lately. Maybe a couple years. And I couldnt remember how to get back down here, well where the freeway entrance was, tho I was right there the same way I used to go but it seemed weird so I missed it and had to ask Coco, the girl in my gps to take me home. Later I learned that my insult had better targets. It seemed a good idea to stop at McDonalds on the way home to get one of those little soft serve ice cream cones as a means of celebrating my 6 pounds lost. Diddleheaded fig brain. So there I was in line behind some terminally obtuse woman who was babbling to the cashier. A flyer was exchanged. I was thinking of beeping but didnt. Finally she moved to the window for her food. She got her food. She moved forward. Then she realized something and backed up--into me. Of course I said what the hell is wrong with you, got out of the car, yelled at her (which I wouldnt have done except for the prior long wait due to her babbling) and shes there in some ill-advised hot pink floaty fat girl top saying, Oh honey Im so sorry, I hope nothing is wrong, blah blah blah. I said (again), What the hell is wrong with you, first youre babbling forever to the cashier then driving backwards into people. She was quite taken aback by my rejection of her endearments and said she wasnt babbling, she had a problem. I didnt say other than your wardrobe choices. I did say, Just go HOME. Like three times. She got into her car and drove away, into a storm drain for all I know. Diddleheaded fig brain.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 05:20:37 +0000
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