Ive lost 4 friends this year. they were all really close to me. im the reason for one of them decided to commit. people tell me im not but it feels like it. i could have done something yk? i could have stopped him, im tired of people telling me shit they think i want to hear. its game over for me, im done. Im way to far in like they were and now my parents are checking on me every 10 minutes to make sure im still here. Thats the things with depression right? you feel more dead than alive. Just get up get dressed put on your mask and go through the day. Thats been my life since i can remember. I have plans for the future, im gonna make a change even if it the smallest things and im scared of myself because of what i can do to myself. ive been clean for 5 months now. i dont even know what the actual shizz im doing writing all this down and posting it on the page it might trigger one of you somehow and make you sad im sorry for that i really am. i just needed to get it out. tonight i will be lighting candles for Harry, Ashley, Maria and Kyle. i miss them all so damn much and yk what? Ashleys last message to me was that i had to hang on. life isnt fair. people die every minute from lots of stuff and i want all of you to hang on and dont ever give up. -Sel.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 00:39:13 +0000
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