I’ll be speaking to you about a subject which till this day is as alive as it was centuries ago in the Middle East, specifically in the area of the world where it is considered a taboo or forbidden subject, if you will, to mention. Yet this taboo subject literally means everything to the poor innocent Arab girl, one can say it is a woman’s life depends on it. This is a private matter to her yet it becomes everyones concern as if it belonged to them. The concern of which is more grave than any other subject, even if the world was to erupt in an all out war... it is the sacred of all sacred topics the make or break .. it is the Hymen, the opening line to the female genitalia. The hymen itself is not the problem it is the people who are the problem. They have made it such an issue where it has caused so much heartache, anxiety, depression to the girl that loses it by accident, and would need a miracle from Allah swt to prove her innocence as being Chaste, or being blessed by an understanding loving husband that will take no notice of it and make no fuss of it if she had lost it. Growing up without doubt this topic was always first to be mentioned , we were told to always have our legs crossed at all times, watch where we sat and to avoid playing rough sport games. We were like a walking fragile piece of glass all we needed was a label on our foreheads saying fragile, easily breakable handle with care, we had to always try our very best to remain intact. We had to preserve this precious hymen of ours till our prince charming arrived. It felt like our fate was in his hand if we bled that wedding night he would be a happy proud man and this would bring honor to our family and if we didnt bleed he would be displeased, angry and bring shame to our family. It felt like judgement day, will we pass or not was that inner feeling...will I bleed or not bleed that was the inner question, the only thing a newly-wed bride would think about on her wedding night. To the Groom after breaking the hymen or as we women call it the walls to all’ meaning the wall to make or the wall to break which both results can affect our lives. Make to pass it and continue having a normal life or break, bringing everlasting shame to our families if we dont bleed. The breaking of the hymen sadly determines everything in the life of the Arab woman. The man breaks it with pleasure but to us its the moment where it will end all those tormenting years of being told to sit with your legs crossed, sit still, be careful, watch where you sit and walk at a pace with ease etc. That moment when it breaks and you bleed to us women will be a bitter sweet moment, bitter because of how much emphasis, worth, importance, value that it took over your whole life and it meant more to society than you as a person. Sweet because the years of stress and worry has been lifted off your shoulders and you are no longer under a constant spot light.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 10:22:55 +0000
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