JUGGALO DEFINITIONS: For the most part, an uneducated, pathetic excuse for a human being who listens to the group ICP who are bold enough to actually consider themselves musicians. People you see wearing hatchet-man accessories. They should not be allowed to reproduce, because that is too cruel to future generations. ICP isnt rap, it isnt metal, it isnt rap/metal, and it isnt horrorpop. There is only one way to properly categorize ICP; unnecessarily and unartfully offensive and obnoxious noise. That juggalo is stupid enough to think that ICP is music. Confused individuals that are a product of the break down of the white middle class/lower class family, hero worship, and the emasculatory expectations of society. Usually characterized as indolent, witless, overly self-glorifying, and speak a lot of shit about anyone but are never concerned about backing it up because they wont. All these traits are an attempt for a cohesive group structure that accepts them and will tolerate their unfounded angst/effeminate banter or actions. A purely American occurance that is a scourge on par with Chavs and Wiggers. A group of horribly misguided wiggers who worship Psychopathic records and the originators of this putrid label- The Insane Clown Posse (also known as the Illogical Clown Pussies or the Insane Cock Pleasers). Members often claim to be misunderstood and through this misunderstanding find reconciliation and commonality in the Dark carnival. This carnival is a theme often used on ICPs records. In truth however, the main attraction for Juggalos is the disasterously awful and depraved music itself, which consists mainly of songs featuring such uplifting and profound subjects as: decapitation, stabbing, beating, cannibalism, necrophilia, bestiality and of course copious killing & murder. Traditions within this sect include: the dawning of evil clown makeup, spraying bottles of soda pop called Faygo, on other members, styling their hair in a manner best suited for circus chimps, attacking smaller or unarmed people with hatchets and knives, eating human fecal matter, shouting whoop whoop as a bozo rallying cry. Directionless & often drug addicted, many Juggalos experience a shift in priority as they reach an older age. This is most often triggered by a realization that they have spent a great deal of time and effort supporting the lowest dreggs of society and in doing so becoming not renegades, but in fact the systems version of a virtual jail house sissy. Some, however, will unfortunately fall victim to this childish fad and never grow out of it due to severe retardation. ---Debunking myths about Juggalos and the Juggalo Holocaust--- Myth: The Juggalo Holocaust hates juggalos because of the music they listen to. Response: False. We despise Juggalos because of your lifestyle, hypocrisy and negative social impact. Juggalos tend to do whatever they want, including breaking laws. They then cry persecution when caught. There are some that dislike the music, but it is NOT the primary reason. The fact that youre all taken in by an elaborate marketing gimmick is enough fodder for us to laugh at, however. Myth: There are more Juggalos than there are haters. Response: False. The Juggalo Holocaust is a representation of the decent, law-abiding citizens that make up the rest of the non-Juggalo world. We far outnumber you on such a massive scale that there is NO hope for you to overtake us. You are a very, very small criminal element that stands in the face of a world that tires of your petty crimes and false persecution syndrome. Myth: There are millions of Juggalos. Response: False. If album sales are a somewhat accurate representation of Juggalo populace, the ICP album Bang Pow Boom sold about 50,000 copies. There were also multiple versions with different songs, so many Juggalos bought more than one copy. Your argument is really, really falling apart at this point. Myth: People that have never heard of ICP are still Juggalos. Response: False. That is simply idiotic. They are regular people. Just because people have problems in their lives, are bullied or hated by someone doesnt make them a Juggalo. Perhaps those people dont automatically need a family crutch to fall back on. Perhaps they are strong enough to stand on their own. To label them simply to bolster your own delusion is a despicable act. Myth: Were just jealous of the Juggalo family. Response: False. No one is jealous of you. You are a weak people that cling to each other because you dont have the strength to go at it alone. You are all emotional cripples that flock to a fabricated philosophy to gather together and face common, every day issues as a group because you dont have the willpower to face the same problems as everyone else. Myth: Juggalos are a family not a gang.. Response: False. How you label something does not change the fundamental principle. You are a group that throws up hand-signs, dresses alike, commit crimes and have a general disdain for law and order. You are a gang. The fact that ICP started as a gang and the music reflected this lifestyle cements this fact. Myth: Juggalos / Wicked Clowns never die. Response: False. Yes you do. Myth: Juggalos always have family. Response: False. Juggalos always claim they are a giant family and will always have each others back. However when one Juggalo does something that goes against anothers code of Juggalo ethics (which varies from Juggalo to Juggalo) they are always called fake , jugga-ho or some other disparaging name. There is no unity or love between you people because youre NOT a family. Youre simply pathetic and clinging to any sense of belonging. - - - Wanna complain? Call! 1-985-655-2500 Were no strangers to love! Send all your fan mail to the office: 935 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest Washington, DC 20535 - - - Wanna call our biggest butthurt juggaderp fan? Chris Wedgie the Clown Spencer: 401-332-1281 His wife Michael Michelle Johnston: 936-689-4437 or call their butt buddy David Fail Hale jr: 937-671-9413 David Allen Arnold: 309-433-4363 Stephanie Fail Parent Whetzal: 443-822-9830 Chris Pedoland: 434-696-8501 Dennis Sudar: (909) 620-0942
Posted on: Tue, 24 Jun 2014 16:33:09 +0000
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