Jelvis 50 Lessons You Should Learn From Horror Movies (#1-10): 1.) Don’t Be so sure the killer is actually dead. Remember SEQUAELS?!? When you take out a lunatic, don’t be afraid to be thorough…If you shoot him, empty the clip...don’t shoot once and turn away….No matter how many times you stab, burn, or run them over, they NEVER DIE…they’re probably on meth. 2.) If your children speak in Latin or any other language which you dont know, or they shouldnt know, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Remember Rule 1. 3.) Do NOT take or borrow ANYTHING from the dead. 4.) If your mommy suddenly begins to ooze blood out of holes it shouldn’t, eyes begin to glow, hair begins to grow rapidly, her tongue can now reach the back of her neck or she begins to hiss…RUN!!! 5.) If you are attacked and wounded by zombies, give up now…sooner or later, no matter what you do, you’ll become one of them. 6.) Your pet can take care of itself…So can your significant other…And your kids 7.) Self-sacrifice is the worst idea!!! Because whoever you save now, will usually end up dead anyway. 8.) If you see a dead loved one…RUN!!! Too many people ignore this bit of common sense…remember, you can always buy a new pet…have more kids…get a new spouse. 9.) Don’t trip over things. Make sure your shoes are tied…Tripping is a huge concern…Never run out to the woods from your house because you WILL trip and fall at least twice, more if you’re a female, and the killer will get you…also…don’t look back…just GO!!! Remember Jason, Michael Myers and the rest of them, are all long distance runners, so you may want to train beforehand. 10.) When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, youll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:30:00 +0000
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