Jesus addressed the issue when he said that no one was ever intended to come between a husband and a wife (Matthew 19:6). No one! No in-laws, no mother, no father, and get this... Including your pastor... was meant to divide a couple who had made a covenant with each other to leave, cleave, and become one flesh. God knows that leaving parents will always be a difficult transition, especially in homes where the child-parent bond has been solid and warm. Unfortunately, many (if not most) couples do not cut the apron strings...they lengthen them.. My marriage ended because of mama daddy rule... My ex would not let go... When you walk together down the aisle you are symbolically proclaiming to all those witnesses that we had left our parents. We had forsaken our dependence upon them for our livelihood and emotional support and were turning to each other as the primary relationship of our lives. The public affirmation of our covenant to each other meant, No relationship on earth, other than my relationship with Jesus is more important than my relationship with my spouse. If you do not leave your parents correctly the situation could be robbing the husband of his family leadership potential. The wife or husband will be looking to dad or mom to bail them out after poor choices. Thus the husband will not grow up and face his responsibility to make correct choices for his family, and live with the consequences of his decisions. In the mans case he will be losing self-respect as a man, and it was undermining his wifes respect for him as well. Leaving your home does and dropping the pampers does not mean you permanently withdraw and no longer have a good relationship with your parents. Thats isolating yourself from your parents, not leaving. The commandment in Exodus 20:12 to honor your parents means that when you leave them, you need to go with respect, love, admiration, and affirmation for their sacrifices and efforts in raising you. But you must make a break from them and sever your dependence on them. As time passes, you must be diligent to prevent any reestablishment of dependence at critical points in your marriage. You can honor your parents and also reap benefits by seeking their wisdom on certain issues. When you ask them to offer their insights, you must make it clear that you are seeking information and advice, not surrendering your right to make final decisions. A tip: Always try to consult your spouse before seeking input from parents. Give yourselves some time to become good at this. You may have depended on your parents for twenty plus years but for marriage only once...
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 21:52:52 +0000
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