Joe Hockey Plays Santa and You’re The Ones Who Need To Get Stuffed… December 3, 2014 Written by: Rossleigh 22 Replies Image from abc.net.au Image from abc.net.au Category: Politics, Rossleigh permalink Rossleigh Brisbane DON’T let Santa – or Joe Hockey – down. Get out and spend up big this Christmas. THE federal treasurer has urged consumers to put the deteriorating federal budget out of mind these holidays. “Don’t let Santa down, go and spend for Christmas,” the treasurer said on ABC radio.”Household consumption is actually one of the biggest drivers of economic growth. Rossleigh: Thanks for taking my call Mr Hockey, or can I call Joke after that biography “Not Your Average Joke” Hockey: I think you should address me formally and by my correct title. Rossleigh: Ok, shithead, now when it comes to Christmas, I haven’t actually saved anything this year. Should I put my Christmas spending on the credit card or would that make me as bad as Labor? Hockey: Look, as this interview is completely fictional, anything I say will just be twisted to make me look ridiculous. Rossleigh: Thank you. Hockey: Why are you thanking me? Rossleigh: Well, I very much doubt that there’s a writer alive who could make you sound any more ridiculous by fiction. I mean, your actual statements are just pure gold. But thanks for suggesting that I could. Really, I’m flattered. Hockey: Can we stick on topic here, I’m a busy man after all. Rossleigh: Not for much longer from what I hear… Hockey: Your sources are even more fictional than me. We don’t have a group working on taking over things from the states… Rossleigh: What about people looking at how to rid us of the states long term? Hockey: Can we just get back to the point of Christmas? It’s all about giving gifts and spending heaps so that we can get the economy back on track. Rossleigh: But doesn’t spending cause lots and lots of problems, I mean Labor’s spending… Hockey: Labor’s spending was frivolous. They wanted to spend on things like the NBN and health and education, whereas individuals know that spending on bonbons and larger turkeys will actually put the Budget back in the black. Rossleigh: So Government spending is bad for the economy, but personal spending is good for the economy… Can you explain why that is? Hockey: Well, the taxpayer has to pay government spending back, and I don’t want my children in debt. Rossleigh: Whereas me putting my Christmas presents on the credit card is ok, because I won’t have to pay it back? Hockey: That’s a personal choice. Rossleigh: Paying it back? Excellent – can I tell the banks you said that and my family’ll have the best Christmas ever. Hockey: Well, of course, you have to pay it back. But that’s your problem not the taxpayers’. Rossleigh: Ah, I understand now. This is sort of like your Higher Education Plan and the Medicare co-payment – just so long as someone else has to pay it, then it’s not your problem. Hockey: I’d say, exactly, but that would just show that I’m fictional and totally unbelievable. Rossleigh: Well, Mr Hockey, whether you’re fictional or not, I can promise you one thing – You are totally unbelievable! theaimn/joe-hockey-plays-santa-youre-ones-need-get-stuffed/
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 03:45:01 +0000
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