José’s thoughts on Arkansas Ch. Nueve -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People often ask José what he does during an open week to stay occupied. Alas, much of it is not for public consumption as it would likely be frowned upon by the 30A crowd and those who value morality more highly than José does. Let’s just say that it typically involves tequila, cigarettes, loose women, very little sleep and also a few things that aren’t good for you. Just as has been the case his entire life though, José’s principal achievement during the open week was survival. Since he has that behind him he is ready for more football. A couple of interesting things occurred on the college football front while José was busy with his week completely devoted to self-improvement; Auburn got their butts handed to them by Georgia, which was quite hilarious. And of course Alabama knocked off The School Whose Name Shall Not be Spoken, surprising exactly no one in the process. These developments meant that your Ole Miss Rebels are still in play for the SEC Western division championship. Of course they have to take care of their own business and need the hated Auburn Tigers to beat the pretty much equally despised Alabama Crimson Tide (which currently appears to be about as likely to happen as José being asked to officiate at the next round of 1st Pres infant baptisms.) but stranger things have happened. On to Arkansas. The Arkansas Razorbacks broke a seventeen-year SEC winless streak (just go with José on this one because it had to seem like years to them.) last Saturday night against LSU. For some perspective, Margaret Thatcher, Nelson Mandela and James Gandolfini were all still alive, Benedict XVI was still the Pope and José was still welcome at Madison County PTA hot tub parties the last time Arkansas won an SEC game prior to that. With the victory they turned what looked like a sure win for the Rebels into a game that most expect to be a difficult one. But that is fine. If the Rebels are truly one of the top teams in the country then they have to find a way to win these types of contests. Yet it remains another Malthusian Trap game for Ole Miss. There is certainly a lot at stake and José has already begun preparations for the game watching hootenanny at Casa Valdez. He is not actually attending the game because…well…it’s in Arkansas. The Razorbacks are coached by Brett Bielema. Bielema came to the SEC from Wisconsin where he had much success, but unfortunately that has yet to translate down here where the average Wal Mart greeter runs a faster 40-yard dash than skill position players in the Big 10. He also married more out of his league than anyone in history not named Lebowski. But it is difficult to fault him because who among us has not met at least one of our wives in Las Vegas? And in Jen Bielema’s defense she does dress more modestly than does Lane Kiffin’s wife. (Bear with José as he does a quick internet search to verify. Wait. Scratch that.) But José digresses. So there is quite a bit at stake this Saturday. The possibility of an SEC championship remains with a victory. A potential playoff spot would remain in play or at least a major bowl with a win. There is also the distinct possibility that ESPN College Gameday will return to the Grove next Saturday for the Egg Bowl should the Rebels take care of business in Fayetteville. Oh and a blonde hellcat has promised to help José celebrate should Ole Miss defeat the Hogs. Other than that there is not much riding on the game. Fins up. My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 22:34:28 +0000
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