Journal 3/9/14 You ever woke up and felt like you were still dreaming? Like you couldve sworn that you were just there...as if you expected to wake up and things would be different? That feeling of slight confusion mixed with partial anxiety and a longing for someone close...even though they are far, far away. You know you came here for something, but at the moment, you forgot what it was you were looking for. You begin to search your surroundings looking for clues, evidence... You see posters on the walls, books on the dresser, clothes in the floor... Surely you didnt come here just to clean your room. You look around again, notice that your window is open, but its dark outside. You walk over to shut the window and notice a very sad, lonely looking creature in the reflection. Pale skin, shrugged shoulders, ragged clothes. You take another glance and notice its eyes look very similar to how yours looked as a child, only a little more tired with bags and dark spots underneath. You lock pupils and for a split second, time is irrelevant. You are a child, looking out the window in wonder of whats to come in the many years ahead of you. Wondering what it must be like to travel to the moon... Wondering what it must be like to fly... Wondering if there was anyone out there crazy enough to want to fly with you... Then you feel a slight warmth drip down your cheek. Youre not a child anymore. You are the sad, lonely man in the reflection and all the while, you were just looking at yourself like a crazy person in the dark for fifteen minutes in complete bliss. Reality starts to set it... People have already been to the moon. They didnt find much... You dont have wings so you can hardly fly, and even better, you already lost the love of your life... The one person who just might have been crazy enough to try and fly with you already folded her wings for someone else. And as you find yourself sinking down further and further into your pity, something clicks... You never stopped being a child. You just stopped thinking like one. You let scientists tell you the moon was nothing but dirt and rocks. You heard their stories and took their word for it without ever finding out for yourself. You let people tell you, You cant fly. If you try, youll surely fail. All the while those same people just got home from a cross country plane trip. And while listening to the nonsense these pessimistic people force you to listen to, you somehow took it as you had to grow up and start looking or acting a certain way for people to take you seriously. You had a wonderful girlfriend who loved you dearly, but the way you changed to try and impress these worldly people ended up pushing her away. You found yourself more focused on money, and stressing over the smallest details so much that you almost forgot that you were just a person yourself. A human being. A soul. A child of God nonetheless... From birth, you were meant to be a child. You were meant to dream and do great, wonderful things. You were meant to imagine the impossible and nobody could stop you. You begin to think of your parents... Your father was a strong man. Never said too much, but when he did he spoke words of truth. Words of guidance. His voice alone was so powerful it bestowed a slight sense of fear into you... Though you heard the passion and love in his voice and was amazed, enthralled by it. It felt like home. You wanted to hear more. You wanted him to teach you how to be a man. How to be strong like him, so he taught you. Your mother was a delight. Though she had her sad moments, she was always there for a big hug and to comfort you and sing you sweet songs of peace, to let you know everything was going to be just fine. Anytime you felt you needed to cry, she would hold you in her arms until you cried it all out and fell asleep again... Now here you are. A young man who just woke out of his slumber yet again, only this time, you are by yourself, or so you think... You look up to the moon and suddenly, you dont feel so alone. Even after many years feeling alone, you realize now you never were in the first place. Every movement calculated. Every memory accounted for. Every dream already layed out before you. You were just living the life you had been given. Who gave you this wonderful life? Full of ups and downs and wonders and struggles and trials and errors... Who could have possibly laid it all out before you as a puzzle of some sort waiting for you to put the pieces together?.. When you line the pieces up just right, you realize the only piece missing was God. The perfect piece. The one holding it all together. The one who gave us all life. Your father strength, your mother wisdom, and you, the endless ability to love. You begin to realize the amazing amount of potential he has bestowed in you. All you had to do was believe in him, and everything fell together just right. You realize that had you went back to his word sooner, you might have never even lost the girl you had once cared for so deeply. Nonetheless, you have earned a since of respect for the one who does care for her now, knowing she is happy and safely taken care of. You shut your window. You remember why you are here now. For the love of God. The love of your family, friends, lovers. The love of nature, the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth. You realize that in all the growing up you have done over the past few years, you had almost forgot how to love. And not just love others, but yourself as well. You find yourself looking up to the moon one last time before you go back to bed, and you could almost swear you could see a face in the moon smiling back at you as you had once searched for when you were younger. And while you find yourself still missing the one you once had feelings for, you turn around to find your dog lying on your bed, slightly wagging its tail, looking up to with a slight sadness in its eyes as well... Waiting on you to love him. Sometimes life isnt about our own enjoyment, our own pleasure, or even our own dreams. Sometimes God puts us here to help the ones around us. To care for them and love them. To bring love to those in need. To be strong for those who cant quite be strong for themselves. We were not given this life to rise above others, but to lift others up when they are down. All the while, inspiring them to dream and never stop believing. Mad love everybody. God bless. Matthew 18:2-4 (KJV) And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, 3. And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 09:01:20 +0000
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