Just read this Facebook piece from Ray Jones, thought it was well worth re-posting. THE ULTIMATE FRIEND by Ray Jones I have friends who are extremely wealthy, and friends who are desperately poor. I have friends who are Anglican, Muslim, etc and follow a dozen or so different religious and political directions. I also have friends who can finish my sentences if I pause to take a breath. We are all born into a family, but we grow into friendships. Members of your family may be your best friends. But if they are, I suspect its more a matter of spirit than of blood, for friendships are made, not born. Sometimes we lose touch with friends. We move away. We change jobs. Our lives take unexpected turns. Yet there is one friendship upon which every one of us may depend. It is a friendship available to all who will call upon the name of the Ultimate Friend. How would you define the word friend? Take a look at these definitions and see if they fit. One small boy said a friend is someone who knows the best in you and the worst in you and likes you just same. I well remember those words tripping so eloquently from the mouth of Gordon Higginson. He too was my friend. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the famous American essayist, said, A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. According to an old Arab saying, A friend is one to whom we may pour out all the contents of our hearts, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and blow the rest away. One of the advantages of having true friends is that we can have deep conversations with them, about things that matter in our life and indeed theirs. It provides us with the opportunity to discuss each others beliefs and doubts. To respect their views and understand that we have certain differences yet those differences make no difference in our friendship. Our generation has made a convenient substitute for a true friend. We might call someone our friend, but do we even know what a true friend is? My definition of a good friend is someone with whom you can do nothing. You need no scheduled activities in order for your friendship to work just each other. We dont really know our friends anymore. We know what kind of stuff they like to do but do we know what they are really like? Maybe they are simply acquaintances. There is a definite difference. Friendship is having a relationship that stays strong no matter what circumstances youre in. True friendship takes time, love, and self-sacrifice. Personally Im tired of just okay friendships. I want the real thing. Are you willing to give up the ease and convenience of part-time friends to really spend time talking with someone and getting to know them? Or has our culture already warped our brains into thinking that we dont really need true friends, just acquaintances? Are we willing to sacrifice ourselves to help someone else? We all need friends. Its time to lay aside our phony friendships and start building true ones. A time to find that seemingly Ultimate Friend. My Ultimate Friends will not distort the words I speak or converse with others of my weaknesses either openly or behind closed doors. My Ultimate Friends will know all my confidences and treasure them as if they were their very own. There will be an unconditional love of each other that will have no boundaries or limitations other that the mutual respect of each one’s individualism and idiosyncrasies. They will not always agree with all I do or say but will respect my judgment adding only their opinion or guidance as they see it. That is the Ultimate Friend’s privilege. Just over fourteen years ago, my ex-wife Maureen and I left England to come to the USA. We left behind us many good friends. Because we had known these friends for some time neither of us had to work too hard at maintaining those friendships. They had stood the test of time and still do. Even though we were living in Wheeling, West Virginia. Known by tradition as The Friendly City It was initially difficult. It was a new way of life. Friendship had to be earned and not expected. Those around us affected us, as indeed we affected them. We approached it our way and they approached it their way. Then this thought hit both of us: Maybe some people were destined to be our friends and others to be our acquaintances. Guess what? I was right. As we began reaching out to people, they began reaching out to us. We still needed time to develop close relationships, but the first awkward steps were out of the way. A pastor and his wife don’t automatically have the right to demand friendship, they too have to seek and earn it. Its probably the same for you. Showing a little love and interest in others brings rewards you dont expect. Here are a few suggestions to consider as you make new friends. 1. Show a real interest in the lives of others. This means asking questions and really caring about their lives, not just your own. 2. Go out on a limb. Invite someone youd like to know to do something with you. 3. Dont give up too easily. If someone doesnt immediately jump at the chance to build a friendship, be patient. Some people need a little more time. 4. Treasure that friendship. Having established the trust of an individual friendship. Treasure it to the end. Confidences in the period of a friendship must remain forever. So too will the guilt of betrayal. 5. The Ultimate Friendship. Nurture every friendship into the “Ultimate Friendship” There are no in-betweens. With hand on heart. Stop for a moment and think of who you are the “Ultimate Friend” to…………….Then think again, who are your “Ultimate Friends”? Be honest and don`t be too surprised at your findings. Include family if you must but don`t jump to conclusions immediately. The “Ultimate Friend” is as rare as the Florida snow or a heat wave in the Outer Hebrides. So who may you ask is my “Ultimate Friend.” Well that is quite easy to explain. My “Ultimate Friend” is God. Why? Because I can tell or send my thoughts to him knowing full well that no confidences will be broken. He will not discuss with others my downfalls or failures. Neither will he betray my trust under any circumstances whatsoever. Only my ears, not shared with others, will hear his words of criticism. Now that I have found one of my “Ultimate Friends” I know that I can open my heart, body and soul and have no fears. So the next time you talk to others about your friends. Stop and think! Are you talking about acquaintances or “Ultimate Friends”? There are no in betweens.
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 10:33:38 +0000
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