KIKUYU WOMEN Everyone has heard the one about Kikuyu women. How they plait their hair, read a novel or knit and placidly inform their partners to cover them when they are through with their business. If one day you return home to find an empty house and your children gone, then you are in the groove with a Kikuyu. They are known to be packers. They will pack and go with the children and furniture after 40 years of hard labour on a marriage. A common saying goes A Kikuyu woman will treat you like a king as long as you have cash, but toss you like rotten mutura (traditional sausage) once you are broke. Cynics say Kiambu women are so materialistic they will kill their marriages to enjoy the wealth alone. One Kikuyu lady coined the following Phrases to her defence, I would rather cry on a Mercedes than laugh on a bicycle. ”Money is not everything it is the only thing. But Lydia Wambui comes to her sisters defence. Everyone loves money. You cannot go to your landlord or the headmaster at your childrens school and say, we are in love, please understand us for not paying. “Love is no substitute for money. Wags also poke fun at the culinary skills of Kikuyu women. They will mix rice, arrow roots, sukumawiki, potatoes, githeri and all imaginable ingredients in one pot. Their men have to always sneak out to enjoy nyama choma or chapati in a smoke-filled joint on their own. They say all women are said to be schemers but the Kikuyu have perfected it to an art. On the first date, they have you all sized up. Wallet size, level of education, future ambitions. So by the second date, you will be paying their rent. The Nyeri ones are fabled to be harsh and authoritative. If you have the bad fortune of marrying one, chances of being her punching bag are inevitable. They are the Thatcher’s of Wahome Mutahi fame. Rivals in love will also dismiss them on account of their figures. Below five inches in height, light complexioned, round pretty face with long lovely hair, oversized chests, voluminous hands, flabby waist lines, ironed out behind, vertical hips all suspended on hockey-sticks-like legs. They are known to have an undying thirst for white shoes. Yet even their hottest critics acknowledge that they are so hard-working and organised that their men only come home in the evening to collect cash for their drinking sprees. Back with KAMBA WOMEN.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 18:38:14 +0000
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