KOUNTDOWN TO KICKOFF... Reisterstown, MD The Career Killers Weekly Meeting TERRELL SUGGS: This December 19th meeting of The Career Killers is now called to order. Can we have the roll call, please? HALOTI NGATA: Suggs, Ogden, Boulware, Scott, Dumervil, all present. McCrary said he wouldnt be able to make it. ELVIS DUMERVIL: J.O., how did you say you became a member of this group? JO: Do you know how many D-End and Linebackers careers I changed? I made more pancakes than IHOP, Son. AllI had to do was stack them up and FALL! HN: I havent heard from Ed or Ray. RAY LEWIS: Here I am! Sorry, Im late. I just came from Michael Phelps trial. He got off with a slap on the wrist...dodged the law. But, lets change the subject. ED REED: FELLAS!!! Im sorry Im late. I had breakfast with Ozzie. Weve been discussing some particulars about my 1-day contract to officially retire with the press conference and all that jazz. We talked numbers, too, Ray and J.O. BART SCOTT: A new CONTRACT?!?! REED: No, retiring 20, 52 and 75. RAY: Nobodys wearing my number. PETER: Yeah, Daryl Smith already gave it up like Monroe did with Ogdens 75 when he came here. BART: What are you all going to do about Arian Foster? You havent allowed a 100-yard rusher since Eddie Lacy last October, 24 games ago! ELVIS: Were going to do the same thing yall did with Eddie George, Terrell Davis and Chris Johnson, make him reconsider his career and apologize for attempting to keep up his streak! ED: What is Kubiak going to do about J.J. Watt? RAY: I hope they run right at him early and often to wear him down. Hes not unstoppable. Everybody has a limit. By the 4th quarter, hell be like jello. SUGGS: Back to the issue at hand. Timmy Jernigan applied for membership for this Houston Texans game. NGATA: He wouldnt even get the chance if I was playing... ED: If IF was a FIFTH, wed all be drunk! hahaha RAY: Is he next up? What about Courtney, Brandon and Pernell? Theyre 2nd year and more. ELVIS: Or, ME!!! Im older and dont have much time left, I should have next! SUGGS: Youre also 5 sacks short of tying Strahans Single Season Sack Record and with Case Keenum and Johnny Manzeil next up, you might break it. Besides, youre already an honorary member because of your damage in Denver. ED: Do I hear hate in your voice, Suggs? SUGGS: Not a bit. Timmys app is for Thad Lewis but hes not starting so the app is invalid. All those in favor of Elvis killing Case Keenums Career, say Aye AYE!!! SUGGS: All those opposed have the same right. C.J. MOSLEY: Im opposed. RAY: Where did you come from? Youre also on the way to being the 3rd Defensive Rookie of the Year to wear purple. Isnt that enough for now? C.J.: I need this to solidify my spot. Kyle Fuller, CB with the Bears is in the convo and so is Mack out in Oakland. ELVIS: Give it to the Rookie. PETER: He was bagging groceries last week. You better make him pay NGATA: Swear him in, Suggs. Its time to eat. SUGGS: Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to make Case Keenum... BART: WHO?!?! SUGGS: ...change his mind about a career as an NFL Quarterback after being attacked by the ferocious and notorious Baltimore Ravens Defense, as have RG3, Ben, and most recently, Ryan Tannehill hitting the deck 4 times and Blake Bortles who apparently owes his Offensive Lineman money because they let him get sacked 8...yes...8 times. C.J.: I accept. MEANWHILE, in a home in Houston, TX... (DOOR OPENS) CASE KENUM: What are you all doing in my living room? Is this an INTERVENTION?!?! ROBERT GRIFFIN, III: Hey, Case! Ryan Tannehill, Andrew Luck, Matt Ryan, Tommy Maddox, Drew Bledsoe, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Eli, Ben, and Romo just wanted to talk to you about some things. Blake is on the way but, hes moving a little slow after last Sunday. CASE: Like WHAT?!?!?! DREW BLEDSOE: You had a future at Wal-Mart. The Ravens kill careers, Case. They kill careers. BEN: ...and break bones. BRADY: I want a flag because, that was... PEYTON: Shut Up KOUNTDOWN TO KICKOFF, 2 HOURS, 38 TICKS AND 92, 75, 58, 57, 55, 52, 20 TOCKS... #RAVENSNATION #PURPLEPRIDE #THERANTINGRAVEN #BAZERANTS
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 15:40:41 +0000
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