Kiss the girls Teddy just got expelled from preschool for kissing all the girls. Well. To be honest I got expelled. We were asked to discourage him from kissing the girls. Me: “Is it consensual” Preschool teacher with stick up butt: “Weelll, the girls don’t seem to mind” Me: “Of course not, Teddy is gorgeous. I believe kissing other children is age-appropriate at 3. And Teddy likes doing it and they like being kissed, so what’s the problem?” Preschool teacher with stick up butt: ”Well we do worry about the hygienic aspects” Me: “Neither of us are epidemiologists, but I think we both know that trying to avoid germ spread in a preschool by preventing kissing is like trying to put out a forest fire with a spit-wad. That can’t be your real reason.” Preschool teacher: “well there are licensing issues” Me: “In Zach’s preschool there were transvestites running around getting to third base with other kids. And Zach nearly had to have a shotgun marriage with Jack. And they never had any difficulty with their childcare license. So that’s also nonsense.” Preschool teacher: “The other parents don’t like kissing” Me: “I love kissing. I think he should get as much as he possibly can while he can get away with it because he’s going to have a long dry spell once he’s 8.” Preschool teacher: “Mmm” Me: “I assume you have a waiting list. How about I pull him now, and you reimburse me as soon as you fill his spot.” Preschool teacher (crying tears of joy): “That seems very reasonable. We’ll miss him of course.” Me: “I expect he’ll miss all those girls.” We’ve signed him up for Zach’s party preschool where the conversation about kissing went very differently … Me: “I want to talk about kissing” Preschool teacher without stick up butt: “Oh, goodie! My lucky day!” Me: “Teddy kisses girls” Preschool teacher: ”It’s spring. They all have hot pants right now. After all, toddlers are animals and we all love spring.” Me: “That’s for sure. Your attitude on kissing?” Preschool teacher: “Well, sometimes we have to explain that sometimes things feel REALLY nice but it’s best to do it in private” Me: “We’re talking about more than kissing now, aren’t we?” Preschool teacher, happy smile “We had a special staff meeting on spring feelings”.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 03:41:54 +0000
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