Kiwis and sheeps! Thats an old one ;) ******* An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures hell have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi: Gday, mind if I talk to your dog? Villager: The dog doesnt talk, you stupid Aussie. Ventriloquist: Hello dog, hows it going mate? Dog: Yeah, doin all right. Kiwi: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: Is this villager your owner? (pointing at the villager) Dog: Yep Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Dog: Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play. Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse? Kiwi: Uh, the horse doesnt talk either....I think. Ventriloquist: Hey horse, hows it going? Horse: Cool Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (Pointing at the villager) Horse: Yep Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements. Kiwi: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep? Kiwi: (in a panic) Dont believe a word he says, that sheeps a bloody liar.. ***************** A tour bus full of tourists stops by a farmer holding a sheep. One of them calls out are you shearing?. The farmer yells back, in an unhappy tone NO, **** off and get your own! **************** Two Kiwis are riding horses along the fence line of their property and find a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. One bloke jumps off his horse and, of course as most Kiwis would, has his way with the sheep. When he was finished he said to his mate: Right, your turn! His mate jumped off his horse and stuck his head in the fence. ******************* Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep..
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 09:10:42 +0000
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