LIVING IN CHINA; THATS ODD... Part 1 Then, just when you think youve seen it all, you notice all kinds of odd things in this ancient land and culture. I thought Id jot down a few just for fun... HOLDING HANDS Normally, this wouldnt be considered strange at all...except that young women often hold hands as they stroll through the mall or down the street. One young man often puts his arm over the shoulder of another as they walk. Fortunately, I was exposed to this odd behavior when I was in China back in 82. A bunch of us round-eyes were on a bus with our national guide, Ning-ning (she was so wonderful to us!), and two local city guides. One was quite tall – well over 60” – and hed studied “hoquan” (monkey style kung-fu), so we called him “Monkey Boxer.” The other was a little fellow who stood barely 55” and he sat down beside me at the front of the bus. As we got underway, he plopped his hand down on my leg, just above the knee. I was (mentally) taken aback but decided not to do anything foolish...yet. He just smiled at me and it was almost more than I could bear. Later, I asked the Monkey Boxer about it and he fairly roared with laughter. “It means he thinks of you as a good friend!”, he said. Close friends often hold hands or put an arm around each other... so if you visit China, dont let it confuse you. :-) SPITTING I think spitting must be the national sport of China because everybody – and I mean EVERYBODU, including my wife and young, gorgeous girls – does it. Theyll be walking along and then hack up a massive lung oyster and spit it...wherever. Kinda takes the romance out of an evening. The men, especially, also clear their noses...everywhere (including restaurants, hotels...). Using one finger to close one nostril, they blow everything out of the other. El grosso mucho! But nobody thinks anything of it. BEING WHITE For several millenia now, the Chinese have had a strong aversion to skin that has been darkened by the sun. This is especially true of the women (note* This was also true of European and American women in Victorian times). If its even half-sunny, they use umbrellas to shield themselves from the sun. Everywhere. Including buses. Having a women open her umbrella halfway on a bus and using it to shield one side of her face is more than a little awkward on a bus where youre packed in like tuna. Or if they dont have an umbrella handy, theyll use whatever is at hand; magazines or newspapers, leaflets (someone is always passing out leaflets on the street), handbags...anything. Pale skin is considered very beautiful and tanned skin is considered very undesirable. It stems from the fact that, in the old days (and even now), peasants spent their days working in the sun. Their skin was heavily tanned...so having tanned skin was automatically associated with being poor. People who had lots of money didnt have to go outside too much, so their skin remained quite pale. So, it was a kind of “social status” thing. Most of the people with whom Ive talked have no real ixdea where this custom originated...so I tell them. Theyre shocked to learn that American women often pay money to go to tanning salons! SMOKING I think the majority of men in China smoke. And its not unusual for a man to offer another man a cigarette as a way of saying that he regards you as a friend or close associate. Its very polite. If you dont smoke, you can simply tell him but dont refuse without giving him a reason. Otherwise, hell think you are rejecting his offer of friendship. On the other hand, its very, very rare to see a Chinese woman smoke. Socially, its frowned upon; ladies DO NOT smoke! But one of Lans best friends, Yin (whos a real scream, has a lot of money, and doesnt give a shit what anybody thinks), enjoys smoking and often does it at dinners...probably just to piss off Lan. :-) SQUATTING I must say, its a bit disconcerting to see an attractive young women wearing a mini-skirt suddenly squat down on her haunches to look at a sidewalk vendors goods, examine a tire on her e-bike, or whatever. Everybody here squats...even in their homes, they have tiny stools that are barely 8” tall, and they sit on them in a semi-squat. And thats okay. But in a short skirt?? Come on...that makes life tough for older men. Especially foreigners. The local men dont even seem to notice! PUBLIC RESTROOMS Theres a technical term that accurately describes public restrooms in China...”Godawful Nightmare.” Actually, there arent many; most would be found in a public park or at a gas station. Its best to avoid them if you can but if your bladder or bowels wont wait, youre in for a real experience.. . By and large, they dont use toilets. Theres a lovely hole in the floor (usually a porcelain base) and sometimes a small pedal on the wall that is used to flush it. Sometimes not. :-) You drop your trousers or hike up your skirt, squat down, and let er rip! For a long time, I wondered if I was the only foreigner who always checked the back of his pants afterwards, just to make sure... then a teacher from Wales told me that he still does it (hes been here 8 yrs. now). That made me feel much better! Usually, theres no toilet paper. You bring your own little packet of tissues. And generally, they dont want you to flush the paper after youve used it. Youll see a small wastebasket in the corner and thats where youre supposed to toss it. THIS foreigner doesnt give a shit (no pun intended)...I flush it. I asked one lady, “After 5,000 years of culture, THIS is the best you can do? Cmon...” She didnt get it. Well, at least they dont shit into a pile of dirt or sawdust in one corner of the room (including ones home), which is done in some cultures on this side of the world. Makes you wonder how they managed to survive this long, doesnt it? So, God bless John Crapper. Actually, John Harrington was the inventor of the flush toilet while John Crapper was one of the first manufacturers of modern toilets. But it just doesnt have the same punch if you say, “Look at all this Harrington!”, or “Oh, Harrington!” “Crap” sounds much better. I tell the folks here that the Japanese (and theres no love lost between the Chinese and Japanese) have VERY modern toilets that, Im told, are a pleasure to use. I mean, how does a cripple or a very old person use a friggin squatter??? I still have nightmare about the time I got lost in downtown Liuzhou and could speak almost no Chinese. My left ankle was swollen and so painful that I could barely walk (I dont know why, but it vanished two days later) AND I had a severe case of diarrhea! And you think YOUVE got problems? Try hobbling through a Chinese city where you dont understand the language, youre in severe pain, and youre about to shit out your liver... I had to acquiesce and go to a gas station...and there was a freakin SQUATTER! I could barely get into a semi-kneeling position... talk about awkward! And someone thinks this is the worlds next superpower? :-D More next time-
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 03:34:59 +0000
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