Ladies, do not take it for granted if a nigga not only offers to take you out this January, but also makes sure that you safely get home and you are well cared for. I reiterate, do not take it for granted. The other day I narrated to ya’ll how about three years ago, my then girlfriend and her pal had fled from my crib by 7.00 AM because I was too broke to buy them some 2KG’s of meat the previous night as they were doing some viceroy and instead bought them omena worth 50 bob to attend to their stomach concerns. That was around 13th – 14th Jan. After that, She wasn’t even interested in me. Previously she’d always be the one texting “Uko home? Nikuje?” , but from that point, scales tilted. I could text “Hi nimekumiss, day yako imekuwa aje?niko home leo, niko free siku yote” to which she’d reply “ Nimekuwa poa, have a good day ahead”. It was until 2 weeks later that my phone received a positive text from her. “babe leo unafanya? Si tuende choma base akina maggy have a birthday party there”, a message that brought mixed feelings. On one hand, I was happy that despite my bankruptcy, she hadn’t declared me “no longer unfit” to hold the position of bae. On the other hand, I was greatly troubled by that invitation coz with parties held in pubs, you still have to purchase your own drinks. You have to irrigate not only your throat but your bae’s esophagus too with ethanol..and I hadn’t been paid yet. We went to the damn bash. I remember surviving the entire night with only one bottle of Pilsner which was progressively sipped at intervals of 20 minutes. She took about 3-4 bottles of black ice. I almost wept. Much later on, people started leaving one by one. She was also tired and wanted to get home. After clearing our bill, I was left with just 60 bob. Had she ordered another bottle, we’d have been peeling potatoes in the kitchen of that pub “Babe,ume-get cab?” she asked. I kept silent. “Babe usha-get cab?” she asked again.. “hizi cabs za donhy sikuizi nasikia si poa, ni ma thugs wanajifanya ati ni cab drivers, home si ni pale tu, tuishie” ” I said holding her hand and escorting her out of the pub. It was some 30 minutes of walking in a rough, dusty, light deficient terrain at 3.00AM. She didn’t talk to me We got home. She had to go wash her feet first as her tarsals were laminated with dust. As she did that, I was patiently waiting in the bedroom like a thirsty cat waiting for milk, like a hungry dog waiting for steak. Ohh a nigga had missed coitus for close to 3 weeks. She finally came to sleep and I instinctively made advances to her despite not being talked to in close to an hour. I just heard “usinishike, ata hauwezi ona nimechoka from kutembea hivyo vyote, usinishike”. I suppressed my desires and slept, but not before setting my alarm. When the alarm rang, I sprinted to the shop and asked mama shiko to give me sukari quarter on credit. I then sprinted back to the house. Everything had to be okay for breakfast because I planned to continue lobbying for coitus after breakfast. Everything had to be perfect; that’s why I had to empty the crushed debris of Patco.(that white round sweet) that were residing in my sugar dish, and replace it with actual sugar before she woke up. It had been a tough month and patco had been a good substitute for sugar…I just feared it might cost me some coitus
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 11:21:46 +0000
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