Larry Crabbs 66 Love Letters - 1 John After explaining how he had felt real awe and joy with God for two mornings in a row, yet also discouragement and fear over some difficult news from his doctor, Larry says: But Father, the joy has faded. Ive just felt visited by Your Spirit two mornings in a row. But whatever happened then isnt happening now. And Im left wondering who I am. Am I still the self-obsessed, whiny person I know myself to be? Or am I Your deeply-loved, Spirit-filled child who, like Your Son, longs to stay close to You and to keep telling Your story no matter what happens? Father, who am I? Where am I? God answers: Youre on the journey. Youre My little child, walking the narrow road that My Son promised leads to life. Youre about to learn what youve dimly known before, that when the narrow road gets especially narrow, My Spirit has a unique opportunity to do important work. You may laugh with joy. You may cry in hope. God then relates the experience of Dietrich Bonhoeffer as he neared his execution in a Nazi prison camp and wrote a poem titled Who Am I?: I wept as I listened to My suffering child agonize over the same questions youre now asking: Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? But I listened with joy as My Spirit led Dietrich through the narrowness of confusion into the open country of certainty. He reached deep into Dietrichs heart as He is now reaching deep into yours. Under His influence, Dietrich wrote: Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am Thine. This is what I want you to hear as you read My sixty-second love letter: *You are Mine. The life that defines My Son now defines you. You are alive *in* Me. You are alive *to* Me. You are alive *with* Me. Inexpressible joy is yours for the asking . . . on My Spirits timetable.* Larry asks why joyful moments are so elusive and fleeting, and God answers: Never deny My Spirits sovereignty. The divine wind of joy blows as He chooses. And never deny your responsibility. You *exist* in My light. You dont always *walk* in My light. To walk in My light requires that you pay more attention to your failure to love than to the pain you feel when others fail to love you. When the light of how My Son and I relate in perfect love reveals the dark stain in how you relate, confess your failure to Me, immediately. Agree with Me that how youre relating is awful, vile, despicable; that you hate it as I do. When you confess your sins, I will not only forgive the relational failures you see, but I will also clean up everything you have yet to see that keeps you feeling at a distance from Me [1 John 1:5-9]. If you understand relational sin, confession will become a daily exercise... Larry later says: Father, the way I relate still falls so short of the way You relate. And yet I believe I have Your Sons life in me. It gets discouraging. God responds: Discouragement, when it drives you to Me in broken confession rather than away from Me in wounded pride, brings the realism of humility. You are never without sin. Whether you recognize it or not, there is never a moment when you relate as perfectly as My Son. One day you will. Until then, humility will free you to live in awe of My endless supply of grace. And the worship that awe inspires will release more of My Sons life to flow out of you into others, even into those who have hurt you though never as badly as you have hurt Me [1 John 1:10; 2:1-12]. ...Celebrate the cross. Know that My seed, My relational energy, is now in you. Youre still quite capable of living like the devil. Adams seed is still in you, the self-centered fleshly energy that continues to argue that living for your own well-being at the expense of others is justified and sometimes necessary. But you are *not* the devils child. You are *not* a citizen of this world. You are *not* a slave to your flesh. *You are Mine!*...
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 18:36:22 +0000
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