Last I knew a couple of weeks ago when u were on ur home time - TopicsExpress

Last I knew a couple of weeks ago when u were on ur home time visiting ur family, and ur phone was ringing when u were sitting on the porch talking and drinking! U picked ur phone up and before u looked at it, u said thats Tonya, how much u wanna bet? Looked at it and said yep..... see I told ya! U and everyone then laughed about it. U then said im sure she wants money as usuall! I then sent u a text asking u if u could put something on the card money wise plz, cuz I needed some groceries to feed my nephews? U remember them dont u? Thier names r JJ and Franky, and of course Clayton. However the two youngest ones r the only two that r with me. In case u forgot they are also the children who just lost their mother, my sister not but 4 months ago! Not to mention their dad passed away a year before that. So that pretty much leaves them with nobody but my brother and I. However I believe after u read my text..... u made the comment See whatd I tell ya? She wants money! Then u said, Theyre not my responsibility! So just out of curiosity, Whos responsibility do u think these boys are? For the record, THEYRE MINE!!! So is Cali, and now so are these boys, and I needed a few bucks to help get some groceries to feed them! All I asked u for out of ur $800.00 and sum paycheck was for u to put on the card $50 bucks for our rent to my aunt, and and extra $50 bucks for some groceries!!! Obviously it was asking to much? Then I post a bitstrip about not being able to take any more, and all the sudden ur here for me? I mean really, is it only cause im not asking u for any money? Well for whatever ur reason is, thanks but no thanks! Ive managed this long without u helping, Im sure Ill be just fine without u wanting to be there for me in whatever way it is u meant it? These boys didnt ask for any of this! I need to take in consideration myself and realize that what they have gone thru just in the last year in half loosing their grandpa Johnnie Stover (my dad) in July of 2013 then loosing their dad in Nov. of 2013, Grandma Peggy Stover (my mom) in May 2014 then the only person they had left that luved them unconditionally, no matter what they did or how bad they were, their mom (my sister) in Feb. 2014! She was our rock, our meeting point. Nothing stood in her way, NOTHING, cuz where there was a will, there was a way and she would always find it!!! DAMN IT, I miss her more and more every day! Theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about her. WOW..... Some times I have to stop and think, for what these boys have been thru, their doing pretty damn good and holding up a lot better than I. Cuz honestly I couldnt begin to possibly think of how they must feel, or think? Lately Ive been letting my patients get the best of me, and thats not who I am. My nephews see me in a different light now. A light that I never wanted then to ever see me in. Reason is because all their lives theyve always seen me as the meanie, and I liked it that way cuz as long as they thought I was mean, then they couldnt or wouldnt maybe get one over on me? Im not sure why Ive seemed to have lose myself in anger, but I have, and here lately its not been the best side of me either. That cant happen again, I wont let it!!! That being said, I want to apologize to my sister, god rest her soul. Cuz I know my kids wouldnt have went without for nothing! Not if the shoe was on the other foot!!! Plz believe these boys didnt go without thanks to a few good friends of mine Ashley Lilly, and Missy K Crowl-Beason, and Bonnie Adams, as well as a few other people. A big THANK U, to everyone. I luv with all that I am, so plz believe that when I say I luv u all, I do!