Last year around this time, I turned my mind on off. I overbooked myself as much as I could and worked till thanksgiving & Christmas Eve till I barely could stand straight. I didnt put up one Christmas decoration, in fact I threw away most of what I had. I knew this was probably my last Christmas with the one I loved so dearly. I knew it was the last holiday I could go crazy and buy my nieces and nephews as many gifts as I could. I drifted through the holidays like a zombie. I had zero joy in my heart and it was all I could to survive. I was in survival mode. Today I put up a Christmas TREE and 6 stockings. My close friends that are reading this are probably in complete shock. My brothers think its dumb, but this year I am choosing to scoop up any joy I have and just rest in the real reason for the season. I going to try to enjoy the small things which in reality are the big things we choose to forget about. Im choosing to let go of the things I alone cannot change, instead of using all of my energy to try to change it like I did last year. I wont have the one beside me that I loved so deeply, but sometimes things happen that we cant understand, and again Im trying my best to be at peace with that as well. Im writing this post because I want to help anyone hurting this holiday season. I want to be there for someone that thinks their life is worth nothing, because I have been there so often in the last 3 years. Facebook is bad in so many ways, but I feel like its also a platform for so many hurting people to see that there is hope and there a higher power that has such huge plans for their life. If any of this long post hit home with you, please please private message me. I am here, and I am waiting for a reason for all that has happened as well. If I can encourage one person, it will all be worth it. Heres to the best holiday season. Remember the real reason for the season because this year, thats all Ill be focused on. Rest in him.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 21:16:34 +0000