Last year, on my 40th birthday, I was in a pretty dark place...sitting alone in my big house drinking Bourbon, watching Breaking Bad and generally feeling sorry for myself. Somewhere around the beginning of the new year I started wondering if life would always feel this way and if this was a life worth living. Despite everything I had, everything I had accomplished, my three beautiful children who give me more joy than I could ever imagine, I wondered whether there wasnt something damaged inside of me that prevented me from experiencing true happiness. Ok, look, I realize Facebook both is and isnt a place for these confessionals and Im not really much for expressing these truths about myself, but I just wanted to let my friends and my family know how much your love, your connection, your faith in me has meant. And, Meghan Sharpe, you chewed me our earlier for not writing sappy stuff about you here. Thats because theres always been something inside me that holds me back--a far-too-long engagement with the type of thought thats always been suspicious about the ability of language to really express our inner lives, who we really are. But words cant express how much you mean to me, how happy you have made me, how much you have shown me what love can really do. So, thank you, for being in my life, my childrens lives and I can only say how much I look forward to the time ahead. And now, since the sacred and the profane are never really far from each other (and because I want nothing more than for my friends, for all my friends to smile when they think of me) heres some truth from Kenny Rogers: https://youtube/watch?v=E_6dFjENafw
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 03:09:42 +0000
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