Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they arent prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs.. Jones, do you know me? She responded, Why yes, I do know you, Mr.. Williams. Ive known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, youve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think youre a big shot when you havent the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? She again replied, Why yes I do. Ive known Mr.. Bradley since he was a youngster too. Hes lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He cant build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different woman. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, Ill jail your sorry asses for contempt.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 04:18:30 +0000