Lets continue from where we stopped on Friday discussing mental toughness. Now were looking at ways to build our mental toughness. WHAT IS MENTAL TOUGHNESS? Mental toughness is keeping strong in the face of adversity. Its the ability to keep your focus and determination despite the difficulties you encounter. Events in our life rarely go the way wed like them to, but that doesnt mean you have to let it throw you off your GAME. Mental toughness gives you the tenacity to learn from your mistakes without the devastating blow failure can sometimes deal. This resilience and fortitude also gives you the strength to keep emotions in check when something in your life seems overwhelming and you need to be strong. Essentially, mental toughness is the voice in the back of your head that tells you to keep going, keep pushing, and keep trying, even when the going gets tough. They say lifes tough, get a helmet. HOW TO BUILD YOUR MENTAL TOUGHNESS 1) Manage Your Expectations: The best offense is a good defense. One of the biggest ways you can build resilience to the things that come your way is to manage your expectations. If you have poorly managed expectations, youll run into more surprises, which can make you feel out of control. Lack of control can lower your morale and weaken your mental fortitude. Flexibility and the ability to adapt to situations are key components to laying the groundwork for strong mental resolve. Christine M. Riordan at Forbes explains how a leader with flexibility can stay mentally strong, but the same can be said for anyone. You should not only roll with the punches, but think about how you can take a swing. You cannot control everything that comes your way, but you are in absolute control of how you react to it. Take a look at situations from the outside and try to see a different perspective. You can also keep realistic expectations by defining them. Surprises may come more often than we like, but you can be better prepared for them by articulating what you specifically think might happen. 2) Prevent Emotions from Getting the Best of You: Being in touch with your emotions is a good thing, but they can also cloud your judgment in the moment. Mentally tough people know how to keep cool in heated situations. Emotions can get the best of us when were between a rock and a hard place, but having some emotional resilience can increase your ability to handle heavy situations. One way to build emotional resilience is by owning whats happening to you instead of running away to seek comfort. The Navy SEALs have a saying: Get comfortable being uncomfortable.You cant get stronger if you stay in your comfort zone at all times. Learning to be comfortable with uncomfortable situations will force you to learn from the situation instead of escape from it. 3) Find Your Source of Motivation: Even if you maintain realistic expectations, and youre capable of keeping emotions in check, you still need some motivation from inside of you to keep on keepin on. Whether youre tackling a problem, handling a difficult life event, or looking for a way to push yourself harder during your next workout, you need to stay motivated. So where do you find motivation? The simple answer is that you have to ask yourself, why? *Why do I need to solve this problem? **Why do I need to get through this? ***Why do I need to get stronger, faster, healthier? Asking yourself these types of questions helps identify the true reason you need or want to accomplish something. Answers like because I have to dont help you. When something difficult comes your way in life, you dont always have a choice on whether you want to get through it or not, but there is always a better reason than I have to. Have a specific goal in mind, and look at the possible reactions to your actions. Think of something or someone that depends on you, and imagine youre a soldier with a sense of duty to yourself and others. 4) Learn to Delay Gratification and Let Things Go: Weve talked a lot about failure and how it can be beneficial for you, but learning to take failure in stride is an important factor of being mentally strong. Being capable of delaying your own gratification—or saying no to easy, instant gratification—is really what being mentally tough is all about. Great things are never easy to do, and if you can make yourself work hard and wait patiently, you will understand what it means to have mental toughness. You need to let go of mistakes quickly if things dont go your way, and understand the time and patience it takes to accomplish things. Mental toughness is as much about telling yourself no, as it is about telling yourself that you can persevere. 5) Challenge yourself: Society encourages us to seek comfort but we only grow from challenge. Constantly set yourself new challenges and find new ways to push yourself, as it is when we are under pressure that we become most effective. Performance guru Stephen Covey says, “Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition – such as lifting weights – we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” So think of a challenge you have wanted to tackle for a long time, set that challenge, tell everyone you know about it, get enthusiastic and go for it. 6) Imagine and visualise: Many of us use our imagination for one thing – worrying. Those who lack mental toughness are able to visualise the worst case scenario in the greatest of detail, creating colourful pictures of what could go wrong. However, the mentally tough use their imagination to design, create and overcome challenges. Olympic swimming champion Megan Jendrick famously spoke of how she visualised standing on the podium with a gold medal around her neck every night for four years before picking up two of the hallowed medallions in Sydney. Stay positive and visualise yourself overcoming the challenge ahead in order to control your thoughts and direct your imagination. Do this and your body will take over and make it happen. 7) Break it down: Thinking about a challenge as a whole will only cause anxiety and confusion; its best to break it down into small pieces. Using the example of long distance running, performance psychologist Kevin Clancy suggests setting mini targets that pave the way to achieving your ultimate goal. “Start by entering a 10km road race. From there you can progress toward a half-marathon, then build up to a full marathon and even an ultra marathon after that.” This gradual progression restricts overload allowing your capacity to grow at the same rate as your demands. ******************************* Mental strength is like muscle strength—no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you cant control? For some people, its politics. For others, its family. For others, its global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care. Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change—but dont try to make everyone else change. Remember, mental toughness is about building the strength and resilience to do the things you need to do and the things you want to do. Dont make it harder on yourself by trying to keep strong for something that doesnt benefit you or your goal. Some things you just have to completely let go. Developing mental toughness is a process and its not something you can conjure overnight. It takes a lot of patience and a conscious effort to become more resilient. Some things are bigger than all of us, but mental toughness can be your armor that glances the smaller blows away. If you have reasonable expectations, control over your emotions, strong motivation, and the patience to see things all the way through, you wont ever SWEAT the small stuff and youll be better equipped to handle the big things in your life.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 06:28:01 +0000