Life- threatening. That’s how I describe last semester. Everything was going so fine but then uhm… Well, I had this one subject, one subject which turned everything upside- down. Com 16 or better- known by Mass Comm. people as Film Criticism, oh these words make me tremble. This subject literally gave me LBM every single day of my fourth year 1st semester life. Not only that, I also experienced headache, chest pain, body pain and I’ll never forget my everyday experience of FEAR. When I was in 3rd year, they said Film Criticism is a subject where you watch a film and critique it according to film elements. Well I said to myself, “okay,” ‘coz I thought it was as easy as how it was defined. I WAS WRONG. Having the courage to raise your hand and say ALL your thoughts and to be hearing the ever- famous line “and so?” from your professor, those things weren’t easy. If we don’t talk, we get zero. And when nobody answers, our professor will move on to the next question and tadaaa! You just missed five points. Prelims. I failed and I said, “I promise to do better this midterms.” Well, I did. I did. But “better” was not enough. During the midterm exam, when I had the chance to redeem myself, I forgot my watch and the exam was good for an hour only and I lost track of the time and it was a four- page exam and I was still on the first page when my professor said, “last five minutes,” and I was shocked of course but I had an exam going on so I had to compose myself and answered whatever I can answer and tadaaa! I failed midterms. My world shook. I know I could have done “better than better” but I haven’t, and it’s all my fault. So, I was left with a 35% chance of passing the subject if I work my ass off in the finals—my one last shot. Words cannot describe how hard I worked for this subject during the finals, believe me. It was like I have unleashed the wildest beast inside me because I could not afford to fail a subject knowing that my parents and siblings are expecting a graduate soon and that they have provided so much of what I needed in life just to make my school life convenient. That time, my friend told me, “Darlene, good news, you’re still on the Dean’s List,” but I couldn’t express how happy I am or I couldn’t post the good news on Facebook because it would be shameful if I made it through the Dean’s List but I failed a subject. It killed all the happiness in me, really. My friends Carla and Cherish felt the same way, too. We would all eat in the canteen but could not enjoy our meals because in the back of our minds, we have this one subject which is stopping us from smiling and enjoying the happy little things in life. Vacation came but I didn’t feel that “holiday breeze” because I was waiting for the online grades. I spent my vacation thinking, “Am I going to make it? Will my friends still accept me even if I don’t pass this subject?” Well, I’m sure they would. They’re the greatest people I have ever met but I may not let them accept me because it would be shameful to have your friend who won the title “Best Director” in your Film subject fail in your Film Criticism subject. I have never imagined that I would be in this horrifying situation because I have never failed a subject in my entire life and I have never settled for a “sure- pass”, but this one subject is about to break that record. January 6, 2015—grades are at last online. The long wait is over. Moment of truth, honey. I wanted a friend to open my account for me for I may not be able to handle whatever the truth is but I said to myself, “Kung meron man dapat unang maka- alam ng katotohanan, ako yun.” So, I typed my ID number, password and tadaaa! I didn’t know what Com is Film Criticism because we just call it Film Crit. So, I had to ask my friend what Com is Film Crit and he said Com 16. Nervous, I looked for it and found Com 16 and tadaaaa! I… PASSED. And honey, I got to tell you, it was breathtaking. Passing the subject was impossible. That subject was difficult. I needed an 80 for finals and it miraculously happened. And I owe everything to Divine Intervention—to God who gave me the courage, the knowledge and the fighting spirit, and for making my professor see and recognize all my efforts for this subject. Did I do everything to pass this subject? Yes I did. Did I push every ligament, every joint and every nerve- ending in my body just to pass this subject? Oh yes I did. Did I do better than my best? Oh, sure I did. To those who will still take up this subject or any subject remember this, when you do or take up something for the first time, do it right the first time you do it, do your best. You don’t want to be wasting your time making a speech of apology to your parents or whoever is sending you to school. If we have to kick our own asses off just to pass the subject, then let’s do it. Trust me. It will all be worth it. To my batchmates who did not make it, this is your time to show everyone everything that you have learned in Film Criticism—not only the academic stuff but also the values, the life- long lessons this one subject has taught all of us. Never give up guys. NEVER! This may be too long for a Facebook status and this is also not a graduation speech (haha) but this is an experience I want to share to people. Also, there are some people who have been waiting for this status for I promised them that I would post this one once I pass Film Criticism. I have also not posted anything nor changed my profile picture for the last four months because I believe I don’t deserve to do such things unless I pass Film Criticism. Haha. Good thing Facebook does not automatically deactivate accounts which are not active. Well, a weight has been lifted and finally, I can enjoy the rest of the semester. And oh, I ain’t doing the same mistakes ever again! (with a circling snap) Life- changing. That’s how I describe last semester. That’s how I describe this one subject called, Film Criticism.
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 10:02:34 +0000
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