Listen up, America, Im done with your nonsense. I dont know who first decided that it would be required that everyone in our country spend their precious time and money trimming the tops of the herbaceous plants in their yards to an even height, but Im done with it. Youre not Hobby Lobby. You cant force your ignorant values on everyone else. In the past 50 years, if each household in our country spent 1 hour a week during the summer months appeasing your perverted senses of what is right on a lawn, then weve wasted some 65 BILLION hours of our lives. On top of that, weve wasted countless billions of dollars. Making plants an even height. I dont know if those figures are correct, but the only thing I hate more than clipping the tops of graminoids is math. So, with that time and money, I have no doubt wed have probably cured cancer by now. Or saved some homeless kids. Or built a decent public transportation system. Or, hell, at least have a few more frozen yogurt establishments. This is all your fault, Bermuda Warriors. If you ENJOY this spectacular waste of time, great. Thats your hobby. You dont get to make it ours. I dont make you beat through chest high briars to flush a rabbit for my hawk. So, I dont have to play your games. Dont give me your tired line about how great a mowed yard looks. Hell a ship in a bottle looks pretty cool too, but your neighbors wont give you dirty looks if you dont have one. Ill give you credit, you sold the pretty lawn BS, hook, line, and sinker to previous generations and now its as entrenched in our society as the myth that chiggers are entrenched in your skin. But, no more. What is the first thing every damned one of you does when you want to see something pretty? You go out in nature. Nobody cuts the *&%*$&# grass in nature. Fifty years from now when Im laying on my death bed, Im relatively certain I wont have one memory about how even the tops of the plants in my yard were back in 07. Plant some trees in your yard, ignore the grass, go spend some time with your kids, or your actual hobby (Im not talking to you grass dorks) and enjoy your life.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Jul 2014 22:36:49 +0000
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