Living Clean pg. 87-88 Feeling at home in our bodies can seem to be beyond our wildest dreams. We feel too fat or too thin, too tall or too short, too old or too young. Some of us feel we were born in the wrong time, place, gender, or culture. We may hardly recognize the person we see in the mirror, or in photographs: “That can’t be me!” When something feels wrong inside, we look outside to explain it. Our sense of alienation surfaces in all sorts of ways. We may simply feel uncomfortable in our own skin. We bring these issues into recovery with us, but it may be a while before we see that they are important. Many of us will share at meetings about having been bone-thin when we got clean; what we talk less about is our response when our bodies start to heal and we begin putting on weight. Some of us find that once the weight starts coming on, it doesn’t stop. We might joke that we “put down the spoon and picked up the fork,” but it’s not always funny. We may feel deep shame or horror at the weight gain. Some of us consider using again to deal with it. We may stay clean but find that compulsive behavior—eating to discomfort, vomiting, fasting, abusing laxatives, experimenting with radical diets—brings its own problems, and its own rush. Obsession with our weight can also lead us back to control games with ourselves: We withhold food, exercise compulsively, and punish ourselves in order to drive ourselves “into shape.” Living Clean pg. 87-88
Posted on: Sun, 16 Nov 2014 21:19:58 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015