Long Confession. I was listening to my daily personal development today. A book my husband recommended to me just yesterday. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. As I listened to the 1st chapter, I understood exactly why he recommended it to me. A little background on my day yesterday... We were in a hurry to get to church on time, as we are every Sunday it seems. I gave the kids the 1 hour warning, 45 minute warning, 20 minute warning and again, the 5 minute warning...letting them know when to be ready. And of course, like clock work, as the time came for us to walk out the door Skyler was not ready...this came as no surprise...its a normal occurrence for her. Sky is a true sapphire through and through. (Read up on Dani Johnson to understand what I mean by that) But I got frustrated...more than necessary and I as I walked out to the car, I yelled for her to get her jacket RIGHT NOW. She took longer than expected..a lot longer, so I came back in the house to see what the hold up was..and there she was with a sweater on, pulled over the shirt she was wearing before, and running down the stairs. It didnt match at all..it was all wrong with the pants and the shirt underneath was all twisted and looking a little too tight. I dont know what happened...all the stress of getting ready and hustling caught up to me. I got so angry with her! I ripped the sweater off her as fast as I could and yelled, WHY CANT YOU FOLLOW THE SIMPLEST OF INSTRUCTIONS! I SAID GET YOUR JACKET!!! Im pretty sure I looked evil at that moment...I sure felt it. I was fuming! Sky looked up at me, confused. You could see the thoughts in her head as if she spoke them loud and clear. I thought you would like the sweater mommy...but she never said a word...she just walked to the car, head held down, tear welling up. Ray and I exchanged words about how horrible I reacted..and of course, I knew I was wrong..but I wouldnt dare admit it at that moment. As I drove to church (yes, how ironic) my thoughts battled..part of me was trying to justify my bad behavior and in the other was condemning me. Eventually I calmed enough to admit the obvious. I was wrong. I couldnt wait for service to end so I could apologize to my little girl. And so I did...and she forgave me effortlessly with a smile on her face. She then began jokingly arguing with me about the how the sweater and how she thought it fit just fine. I was so thankful she was so quick to forgive. So back to the book, it helped me see things that I could be...well, SHOULD be doing differently. The reader read to us something written by W. Livingston Larned ..Father Forgets. A beautiful writing about a father and his son. As the words filled my ears and seeped their way right to my heart, my eyes weld up with tears. He was reading about me...he WAS me. These words especially pierced my soul..What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years. Far too often I find myself doing exactly that. More times than Id like to admit I find myself kneeling by their bedside, apologizing. My girls are just babies, watching and learning..making mistakes as they go. And thats ok!! Clearly I am still making mistakes too. I must pull the plank out of my eye before noticing the sliver in theirs. I have a lot of work to do. Here is Father Forgets https://youtube/watch?v=55EbjaOLfwA. This was a great reminder, a great way to put things back into perspective for me. Maybe you need that reminder too, which is why I shared this with you.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:26:42 +0000
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