Love of technology, the eighth deadly sin. A playlet by Roland Glover. Characters: Sweet corn Pear Tree Adam Eve Voice of God Two plants are standing side by side. There is a fence between them. The first is a sweet corn and the second is a scrubby, insect laden pear tree. The first plant grins smugly to its neighbour. (Sweet corn) “What kind of thing are you?” (Derisive tone). (Pear) “I am a pear and we pears have grown here for generations, feeding the poor folks of the land.” (Sweet corn) “Hah!” (Scornfully) “I am genetically modified corn on the cob. I can feed the hungry across the globe; I can provide a never ending supply of versatile and safe foodstuffs to the ever growing global food industry. My seeds are a secret and cannot be passed on through the generations.” (Pear) “Hold on, you mean you’re impotent?” (Sweet corn, blanches) “Eh, well yes but I’m grown from a stock of seeds that are altered to be pure and resistant to pests. I mean, look at you, you’re crawling with beetles and your fruit is blotched with black spot. Who on earth would eat those?” Enter ungainly youth wearing only a pair of shorts and sporting long hair and a beard. He picks a pear and eats a mouthful. (Adam) “Yeuch! Not a patch on the first time.” (Sweet corn) “See! Now watch him try my corn.” (Adam) shouts, “Eve, what’s this shit?” Attractive young Israeli woman appears at his side, hands on hips. (Eve) “That, my gorgeous hunk of fruitiness is sweet corn.” (Sweet corn) “Genetically Modified sweet corn actually.” (Eve) Scowling; “Don’t tell me you had a pear!” “Adam, do you never learn? (Adam) “Is that what it was? I just thought it was another apple.” (Eve) “What were you thinking about? That apple got us into an awful lot of trouble.” (Adam) Smirking “Yes, I remember.” (Eve) Thumps Adam on the shoulder; “Christ Adam, it wasn’t just about carnal knowledge, do you not get it? It was all the stuff God didn’t want us to know, including everlasting life, have you forgotten already?” (Adam) “Eh, n’ no.” (Eve) “We can do and make whatever we like. Knowledge is power, c’mon Adam you’ve had 6000 years to get the hang of it.” (Adam) “So, what we gonna do with the money babes? Ghod those guys from Monsanto were creepy.” (Eve) “Yea, they were creepy, but hey they were willing to pay and we had what they wanted.” (Adam) “I know, I just didn’t like the way they laughed when they realised they could own all the seeds and therefore, how did he put it? ‘control the means to grow food.’” Adam messes with his Smart Phone. “I don’t like it Eve, they’re messing with nature. It could all go badly wrong. I mean why can’t we just keep things simple and pure?” (Eve) “It’s a bit late for that.” (Sweet corn) “Hey! Over here, try me!” (Adam) “Hey, do you think we could eat that stuff?” (Eve) “You need to cook it first.” (Sweet corn) “Do what? Cook it, me? No!” (Adam) “Should I Google it?” (Eve) “What?” (Adam) “A recipe.” (Eve) Just boil it and smear it with butter and then get your gums around it, lovely. (Pear) I think they’re gonna cook you mate. (Corn) Philistines, don’t they know that I make excellent cooking oil that can be sold to poorer countries who don’t even know that they need it? (Pear) Apparently not. (Adam) Maan I love this stuff! Here Eve, give it a go, it’s lush. (Voice of God) Adam you little bugger, I thought I told you not to eat the fruit in the garden of Eden. (Adam) cowering Sorry God man, I couldn’t help it it’s delish. (Voice of God) You do realise you’re naked don’t you? (Adam) blushes, covers the front of his loin cloth with his hands I’m not, I’m not, I’ve got this on. grasps the fabric. (Voice of God) I can see you. (Adam) Stop it, leave me alone you bully. (Eve) Ignore him Adam, he can’t push us around anymore, we sold his big secrets, Coca Cola, GM, Bluetooth technology, stem cell research, Darwinism. He’s all out of ideas cos we sold em all. Adam digs into the front of his loin cloth and brings out his smart phone. (Adam) Including this little beauty. Kisses smart phone. (Eve) Is that what you call keeping things pure and simple? (Adam) Eh? (Eve) You never stop checking that bloody phone. (Adam) I’m checking Twitter; I don’t want to miss what’s going on with all the angels and archangels. Michael tweeted a thing about Richard Dawkins that generated quite a lot of chatter. Apparently right, he thinks that we were made 6 hundred thousand years ago. (Eve) as opposed to? (Adam) God said 6 thousand, didn’t he? (Eve) O Adam, have you forgotten already? When you ate the apple, remember? God was keeping the real timescale under his hat. (Voice of God) Cough Everyone looks up. (Pear) I didn’t know that, did you? (Sweet corn) No, I don’t think I did. (Eve) I’m going to buy shoes. (Adam) What? (Eve) Shoes. (Adam) What for? (Eve) They’re cool, they stop snakes biting your feet and stuff. Eeuch, snakes. Shudders. Let me see your phone. Eve brushes her fingers across the screen and types in some digits. I’m watching these on ebay. Adam takes the phone from her and looks shocked. (Adam) Size 6 red sandal with 6 inch heel, what the… (Eve) I know, I know but they’re lovely. (Adam) How much? That’s more than I spent on my phone! (Eve) Give me that back. Eve snatches the phone. (Voice of God) I have decided to add love of technology to my list of deadly sins. Adam and Eve look slightly uncomfortable. (Voice of God) Moses! Take this down…
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 19:48:52 +0000
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