Lundy Bancrofts Crucial Elements of Healing Emotional Support and Validation It is very difficult to heal in isolation. You might have emotionally isolated during the time with your N because you were confused and embarrassed about what was happening. Nows the time to get back in touch. Open up to trusted friends. Find a good therapist (they can be very validating and actually shed a lot of light on what you went through as well). Connect with other survivors. Join support groups. Telling Your Story Its important for you to completely come out about what he did, how wrong it was, and what its impact was. Undoing the B.S. This includes what he told you or messages he sent with his treatment of you (ex: Youre not good enough. Youre disposable. Youre not worth respect and you never have been.). These lies are harmful. Reflect slowly on how they are untrue. Development of Dignified Outrage Get angry about what he did. Angers a great healing force. It can help you reclaim your power. Releasing Pain Have cleansing cries. Stomp around. Get it out of you. Schedule sessions and get those feelings out. Growing Closer Relationships Remember: dont trust everyone. Develop your radar. Develop or reestablish your relationships with friends. Love is healing, and that includes all kinds of love, not just romantic love. And dont forget that you need to work on your relationship with yourself. Deeper Connection With Everything That Exists Remember what you love and what you hold most dear. Have a hobby? Get back to it. Pursue your interests. If you feel lost or like youre drifting and dont know what you feel a connection with anymore, think about what you liked before things started getting bad with the N or even before you met him.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 20:02:28 +0000
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