MALAGA GROUP WEATHER UPDATE Sunday 21st December 2014: Four (4) days to go!!!.......Moaning everyone!!!......Thats everyone along the coast that is!!!......As I write this we are still on for much greyness from Manilva in the Costa de Sols west and beyond, through to Nerja on our Costas east.....and all points in between!!!.....WIND!!!....Oh yes, on our western fringes that is Manilva you will have mucho viento.......as a result of too many local curry houses in the area if you ask me!!!........Now, two contrasts here as Manilva is likely to be grey all day, or Gay all day as those naughty Lola Boys would say (its a far western Costa thingy is that.....they get a nose bleed if they travel too far to the east......although they do holiday in the Far East!!!).....But at the other end of our fair coast, those in Nerja could see the light.....of the sun that is, fairly early on, and that brightness just might spread along towards Malaga this afternoon!!!.....It all depends on what that cloud wants to do and, to confuse me even more, how far inland it wants to roam!!!......Ronda, as an example, is to be a beautiful day but its usual chilly self as it tends to be this time of year.....still worth a visit today though if you wish to escape the coast!!!......The Guadalhorce is likely to attract that greyness and in places up that valley and along the western costa we could see some wet stuff fall!!!......Antequera should be another bright place today with that demarcation probably being over Almogia.....now theres a place that barely gets a mention!!!........Colmenar, Moclinejo across to Viñuela continues what I think will be the point at which sun breaks through that coastal greyness.......but hey, dont hold me to that!!!......And tonight we continue through to tomorrow with that greyness and again chance of a wee dram of rain with it!!!......In the morning that greyness is likely to be hanging around the coast and up that Guadalhorce Valley again but inland, bright and sunny!!!.......Its Tuesday before we really start to resort back to fairer weather all over but still with cloud!!!......Cloudlets for Wednesday......mainly sunny for Christmas Day but cloud thickening in the east!!!.....same for Friday and Saturday.......and then.....OMG!!!......You remember that you forgot somebody at Christmas!!!......Never mind, too late, your in the dog house!!!.....We do have some cloudy rainy stuff coming in on or around Sunday to bother us next week but I have been asked to keep it clear for New Year celebrations so whilst you lot party, over indulge and enjoy Christmas I will be trying to rub the rain clouds from my balls!!!.....Theyre crystal you know.....just in case your new here!!!......So, that was your weather update and although I was going to drop the singing for today, I was pressurised into continuing.....so a compromise in the form of a very different Twelve days of Christmas!!!......It has a twist, but what else would you expect!!!......and its an epic so Im out of here......do try and finish it before tomorrow folks!!!......Jim Fraser for your EiALERT NETWORK :o SING.......On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: A Partridge in a Pear Treeeeee!!! And then comes the written reply....... SPEAK.......My dearest darling, That partridge, in that lovely little pear tree! What an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you and thank you. Your deeply loving Emily. On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree Mr dearest darling Edward, The two turtle doves arrived this morning and are cooing away in the pear tree as I write. Im so touched and grateful. With undying love, as always, Emily. On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! My darling Edward, You do thinks of the most original presents: whoever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? Its a pity that we have no chicken coops, but I expect well find some. Thank you, anyway, theyre lovely. Your loving Emily. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Dearest Edward, What a surprise - four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning impossible. But I expect theyll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, Im very grateful - of course I am. Love from Emily. On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Dearest Edward, The postman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly. A really lovely present - lovelier in a way than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and Im afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mummy says she wants us to use the rings to wring their necks - shes only joking, I think???....... though I know what she means. But I love the rings. Bless you. Love, Emily. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Dear Edward, Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasnt six socking great geese laying eggs all over the doorstep. Frankly, I rather hoped you had stopped sending me birds - we have no room for them and they have already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but - lets call a halt, shall we? Love, Emily. On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Edward, I thought I said no more birds; but this morning I woke up to find no less than seven swans all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. Id rather not thinks what happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds - to say nothing of what they leave behind them. Please, please STOP. Your Emily. On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 8 Maids a Milking 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Frankly, I think I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids - AND their cows? Is this some kind of a joke? If so, Im afraid I dont find it very amusing. Emily On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 9 Ladies Dancing 8 Maids a Milking 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Look here Edward, this has gone far enough. You say you were sending me nine ladies dancing; all I can say is that judging from the way they dance, theyre certainly not ladies. The village just isnt accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless hussies with nothing on but their lipstick cavorting round the green - and its Mummy and I who get blamed. If you value our friendship - which I do less and less - kindly stop this ridiculous behaviour at once. Emily On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 10 Lords a Leaping 9 Ladies Dancing 8 Maids a Milking 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing about all over what used to be the garden - before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it; and several of them, I notice, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbours are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again. Emily On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 11 Pipers Piping 10 Lords a Leaping 9 Ladies Dancing 8 Maids a Milking 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! This is the last straw. You know I detest bagpipes. The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse and a man from the Council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mummy has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I hope youre satisfied. On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 12 Drummers Drumming 11 Pipers Piping 10 Lords a Leaping 9 Ladies Dancing 8 Maids a Milking 7 Swans a Swimming 6 Geese a Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!!! Sir, Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises a half-past seven this morning of the entire percussion section of the Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra and several of their friends she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent your importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock. I am, Sir, Yours faithfully, G.CREEP Solicitor-at-law
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 07:16:23 +0000
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