*MEMBER SEEKING ADVICE* Hello, this is the first time I post here on this topic. Two months ago, I called the police and reported my ex partner for the first time after he was beating me and punching me in the head. He had been abusing me verbally, psychologically, physically for the last 4 years since the pregnancy of our son (who is now 3 years old). Although we had a lot of good times in our relationship, the bad times far outweighed them and I ended up feeling haunted of living with a man, now the father of my child, who had changed suddenly from being a charming, loving and kind man when we were dating to a possesive control freak who seemed to enjoy putting me down and making fun out of me, punishing, ridiculing and playing around with like a toy. Since I reported him to the police (which he still says I commited a crime by falsely reporting him!) he went to jail for 2 days, but the judge at court did not give me a protection order as he managed ot manipulate the court into thinking Im mentally ill. He continues to tell people in the community the reason for our split is that I am mentally ill and he couldnt tolerate living with me anymore. My son is with me, since we broke up after that final sadistic incident, he has used our son as a revenge tactic to get back at me. He continues to send verbal insults, but he himself has blocked me from facebook and whatsapp first. Im going through a deep healing process, having to start my life all over again and build up self esteem, as well as create a new home for myself and my son and find work (I was working for him - another way he controlled me). I wanted to ask for advice How do I move on from this horrible man? I still think about what hes doing, if he will change, if he is seeing someone else and if he willl change now for the next girlfriend. Im pretty sure he was already seeing / speaking to other girls when we were together. The whole thing is very sad, I loved him very much and he is the father of my son. I wanted to keep the family together, but I was so worn down over the years by all the abuse. I thought if only I could change then things would get better, but it was never good enough. Now I am trying to move on, Im seeking advice and maybe reassurance that it wasn;t my fault, that he will always be like this with whoever he is with in his life. he always would say how great his ex girlfriends were, how I was the worst woman he has ever known. And all the name calling, it was so degrading. He even eventually criticised my education, my background and isolated me from family and friends. Apparently now he is feeling "happy and relieved" that I am gone and is already seeing / sleeping with other women. Anyway, its a long long story, any tips / insights out there that can help me move on and stop going round in circles about how maybe it was because of me he is like that
Posted on: Sun, 28 Jul 2013 16:28:45 +0000
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