MISSING :( I’m gonna marry her someday. I know it. I’m not a writer. I suck at words. I always have a hard time expressing myself. I feel like the only way I can explain people how I fell or what I think about is through numbers and math symbols and theorems and a shit-load of equations. This is because I love math more than words. Math was my first love but I want her to be my last. I couldn’t help but fall in love with the way she smiles. The way her eyes light up my world. I can’t help but play with her beautiful red hair. Always so fragrant. Her tight hugs make me forget about all the crap in the world. A lot of people made me feel something inside but she was something else. I never would have thought of ending up with her. We were different. Because of that difference I found myself staring at her staring at books…for hours. I’ve never spent more than 20 minutes in a book store. I found myself drawing cardioids all over my notebook. I found myself walking almost a kilometer from my school to hers then back just to say “Hi.”. I found myself believing in her dreams as she believed in mine. She was everything. Before her, I kept asking myself what I did wrong to deserve such a shitty life. But now, I keep asking myself what I did right to deserve her. I was scared of what was happening. I had to spent more than half a month just to be sure she was for real. I wanted to be sure I was good for her December 6, 2013. I was ready. There was a intercollegiate women’s basketball game that day. I didn’t care if it was embarrassing. I wanted everybody to know how I felt. What better way to tell someone how you feel than writing your message on a 7 by 10 ft tarpaulin, right? Kudos to you, sir commentator, for making the moment more perfect by reading the message at the backround as I was hugging her. For a moment there, I felt like we were in a movie. That night we lied down on the field staring at the stars. I grabbed my guitar. “My heart. It beats. Beats for only you. My heart is yours.” It was true. I meant each word. And before she went inside her home she whispered, “Today is Day 1”. At that moment, I couldn’t be happier knowing that the girl of my dreams was indeed mine. It’s already Day 285. We had our ups and downs. We had fights. I’ve seen you at your worst and vice versa. We had days when we wanted to give up. But we’re still here. You are both my greatest strength and weakness. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before. I love you more than all of the others combined. We have something a lot of people long to have. And I can never be thankful for living in this version of my life. I feel sad for myself living in the parallel universe if it does exist. If I had it my way, I’d choose to be with you. Every life, every universe and every choice would lead me to you. We’re two parts of a lemniscate. Individually, we can create our own infinity. Together, we can create an even bigger one. What we have cannot be described by even the infinite combination of words nor can it be defined by even the most complicated equations. I’m already looking forward to the next chapter of our lives. That chapter begins when you say “I do.” I promise to still give you flowers on random days like I do. I promise to cuddle you every morning and every night. I promise to be there whenever you’re having problems at school or work. I promise to travel with you wherever we can. I promise to hug you tight when you feel down. I promise to give you the best parts of the chicken whenever we eat together. I promise to but loads and tons of baking materials so you can do what you love. I promise o help you achieve everything you ever wanted and will want. I just want to be there with you telling you how beautiful and amazing you are each and everyday And if there is an afterlife, I hope we can still continue to love each other even after our children and grandchildren have said their farewell to both their moms. 10 years, okay? And another decade after that and after that and after that… And if anyone else feels this way about someone, I want you guys to know that it may be a long shot to forever but its always worth a try. Mr. PNU
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 23:33:00 +0000
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