MISSIPPII DECLARES WAR... President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. Hello, President Obama a heavily accented southern voice said, this is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bumps Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg, and I am callin to tell yall that we are officially declaring war on yall! Well Jimmy Boy, Barack replied, This is indeed important news! How big is your army? Right now, said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JDs Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store. Barack paused. I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command. Wow, said Jimmy Boy. Ill have to call ya back! Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment! And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy? Barack asked. Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mikes farm tractor. President Obama sighed. I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also Ive increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke. Lord above, said Jimmy Boy, Ill be getting back to ya. Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war. Im sorry to hear that said Barack. Why the sudden change of heart? Well, sir, said Jimmy Boy, weve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that theres just no way we can feed that many prisoners. SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!!!!
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 03:41:51 +0000
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