MURDER AT THE WAL-MART: Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A friend of a friend put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of Artie. Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldnt have any cash on hand until he could collect his wifes insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the mans wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the stores security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plot, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared... (Youre going to hate me for this ....) ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!! Oh, quit groaning! I dont write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you!
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 00:58:18 +0000
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