MUST READ... Roger Federer’s Family Values by Ashley E. McGuire Watching tennis star Roger Federer glide back and forth on the courts of the U.S. Open, you’d never think he’s a 33 year-old devoted dad of four. Roger and his wife have two sets of twins, twin boys and twin girls. The boy twins are just four months old. I love what Federer had to say about learning they were expecting twins, again: I can’t actually remember when we found out: for me, Mirka being pregnant, that’s the big news. And then, if it’s one or two, that’s secondary. Same with boys or girls, it didn’t matter this time. I would have been really happy to have another two girls, because I love my girls so much. It’s boys now, clearly, and I couldn’t be happier. These are incredibly refreshing words in today’s increasingly anti-natalist culture, similar to those of soccer star David Beckham’s comments on being open and welcoming towards children and new life. Beckham is also a dad to four. Federer and his wife live in Switzerland, where the average woman does not even have two children. The United States’ own fertility rate is languishing at an all-time low of 1.89 births per woman. No doubt many women might be more inclined to have more children if it meant cutting the number of pregnancies in half, but even so, Americans seem increasingly hostile to children, viewing them as nuisance or a hindrance, rather than a gift, despite living in a nation and at a time of unprecedented wealth, stability, and prosperity. No doubt many would excuse a world-class athlete like Federer, competing around the globe on unforgiving timelines, for cutting it off at two. I find myself amazed at how frequently people remark when they learn I am expecting a boy and already have a girl that I am “done.” It usually goes something like, “Oh how perfect, you’ll have your girl and your boy and you’ll be finished!” People have an unending list of reasons for why they might limit their family size or find themselves unable to have more. No one should be made to feel guilty about their family size, something that is profoundly personal. But the flat assumption that a perfect family entails one boy and one girl is depressing. It places an inherent preference on gender, and creates a margin for the value of each new life. As Federer put it, the number or the gender of each new child is “secondary.” Secondary to what? Secondary to that child’s stand-alone inherent and whole value as a person with a soul and a future. Children aren’t like dollars, or cars, or handbags, where the added value of each new one decreases or the usefulness depends on the similarities or differences to the others. They are each their own prize in and of themselves, a prize that far surpasses a Wimbledon championship or another win at the U.S. Open. As Federer put it shortly after the second set of twins were born: Those who are parents know how important the birth is and that everything went well. It’s an unbelievable time, so much more interesting than just winning a tournament or anything. That is so, like, secondary. It’s really exciting times now and you just want to be in touch and know everything that’s going on. I’m calling her all the time and she’s calling me and it’s really, really beautiful. Maybe you didn’t root for Federer at the U.S. Open, but we should all be able to rally around his pro-child, manly example. acculturated/roger-federers-family-values/
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 05:31:35 +0000
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