MY CHOICE, NOT YOURS... Why do some people find it difficult accepting the choices people make for themselves most times? Why do we always see our opinions as the best while we disdainfully quash those of others? A friend bought a car and was happily inviting others to share in his joy. While people were busy congratulating him someone loudly and confidently said “Why you no buy Ash coloured car now? Kai me I prefer ash abeg, this Navy blue no make sense” Everybody was rather bemused by this utterance and for a few seconds there was some graveyard silence and before anyone could utter a word, My friend said to the guy in reply “Hmmmm, bros, na my money I take buy am o! Your contribution no dey inside. Na so you talk when I first meet my wife, remember wen you talk say make I no befriend her just because her complexion too dark abi? Now na dat same woman make sense pass anybody you fit think of.” My guy just froze as everybody burst into a long mocking laughter. Flying everywhere are comments like ‘what did he see in her sef? E for marry the one wey fine pass na’ ‘Kai, if na me I no go marry this kind man o! I prefer tall men with broad chests’ ‘hmmm left for me I won’t even accept this car for free. Why your uncle go dash you this kind small car now? Gaskiya you big pass this one o’ ‘kai I can’t wear that dress, it’s way too cheap’ ‘Me, I can’t do this kind work o, I pass that level! Abeg!’ and so on and so forth. The good thing is THANK GOD IT IS NOT YOU! Many a time we do not give people around us the opportunity to express themselves naturally. We form so many outrageous impressions about people even when we are just meeting them for the first time. Some of us, if given the chance would want to live other people’s lives for them…..show them how to bathe, wash their undies, how to raise their kids, what route they should take to work, what to eat, how to spend their money and bla bla bla! Nobody is saying we can’t advice people (if need be) or air our opinions but courtesy demands that we respect other people’s opinions no matter how absurd they may seem to us. We are all responsible for every choice we make. Sometimes people come to us to seek our advice or help them see things better from our own perspective, trust me, there is absolutely nothing wrong if we give our candid opinions in such cases because we have been asked to do so. It becomes a problem when we come into people’s lives and situations uninvited and feel they must be like us or always see things from our own perspectives. Expecting people to be like us is way too obsolete if you ask me. A learned and well exposed person is one who has learnt and come to live with the fact that we cannot all be the same; listens to others when they speak; is not oblivious of the fact that he isnt a superior being; sees the dignity and beauty in every soul and has high regard for individuality….this for me is an intelligent person. So stop forcing all those sophisticated and grandiose ideas of yours down other people’s throats. We have been differently made and our DNA strongly confirms that. Life isnt all about winning arguments all the time. I believe in the principle of live and let’s live. There should be a clear cut difference between sharing your opinions, advising someone and judging others. When it comes to your turn, do as you please, but when it concerns others, allow them to take the wheel and only come in when and where you are invited. Being a nosy poker only brings more problems and nothing more! It pays a lot when we learn to mind our business in circumstances where we have no reason whatsoever to intrude into the lives of others…………..God help us! -Irene Ogbugwa Ohia-
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 10:26:04 +0000
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