[MY FAVORITE DESCRIPTION OF MIDAS CAUSE HE REALLY ISNT GREEDY OR A BAD GUY what strikes me about that this story is that Midas isn’t inherently a bad guy; the story starts with Midas taking a drunken satyr into his home. (Said intoxicated goat man was said, in some versions, to have stumbled into Midas’ rose garden and passed out. It might be slightly disconcerting, finding a satyr in your rose garden, but apparently Midas just kind of went with it.) as it turned out, when not plied with politeness and hospitality, rather than copious amounts of liquor, the satyr was good company. another thing that strikes me from this tale: other than the moment that is titular for a certain aforementioned expression, Midas is pretty smart. savvy, at least. he said nary a rude word around that satyr, and probably didn’t even entertain the thought of sodomizing it, as many more prominent characters might. he might even despair a little about my bringing up sodomy so often in these things, he was just THAT polite. anyway, after 11 days or so, the satyr had fully recovered so Midas escorted him back to Lydia where Dionysus was waiting. the satyr, whose name was Silensius, I feel it imperitive to mention moments before he is written out, and he was Dionysus old tutor. That too. anyway, Dionysus was so glad that his faithful satyr had been delivered back to him safely, unsodomized, and not on a plate with a side of coleslaw and potatoes, that he offered Midas any reward of his choice. to this, Midas had the typical response of AWWW YISSS, and requested that everything he touched turned to gold. Now, Dionysus, being the god of wine or something, had been taking a sneaky sips from the celestrial beer keg, thought nothing of this request, and granted it onto him. he didn’t even think of the jokes he could make when Midas would inevitably have a mishap with this power and start walking around with golden junk, which is what anyone else would have done. at first, Midas thought his newly granted power was, in technical terms, ‘the shit’. he touched a leaf and a twig, and they both turned to gold. he strolled home on excited feet, since he simply must tell everyon’ he knows about his WOOOONDERFUL new gift! when he arrived back at his palace, he ordered his servants to prepare a magnificent feast, full of fried chicken and potatoes and cheese sticks - every typical greek food and beverage they could find! and then he waited, until it had been laid out on the table with the best crockery and all that blah blah hurry up and get to the good bits. he sought to demonstrate his talents, and demenstrate he did. I’m not sure if it was being presented with a golden chicken or his own golden junk that made him realise the gravity of the situation, or if it was perhaps staring at his own daughter, whose skin he had glazed over with gold himself.]
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 22:36:18 +0000
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