Many of you, my FB friends, know of my love for chipmunks and their significance to me in regard to my Mom. Along about the time I first joined FB, I shared the fact that I had seen one on my birthday a year before, on Steve’s birthday the next year and again on my birthday at that time - none in between. I’ve never been one to seek out or put too much emphasis on “signs”. I have not seen a chipmunk in quite some time - didn’t see one my last birthday or on Steve’s this past June. But . . . This morning - I did, and it left me in the “ugly cry” all the way to work and having a difficult time pulling myself together. I talk to myself in the car all the way to work. I’m sure people around me are thinking that I’m either talking to a grandchild in a car seat, a small pet beside me or that I’m nuts (the most probable). At any rate, this morning I am in full talk mode, trying to come up with answers to what are likely the most important and difficult since my folks were all sick - life changing decisions. None are easy answers and in times past I would have found myself completely depending on my Mom to “bounce off of”. So, I’m getting to a crucial place in my "discussion with me", tears are flowing due to my circumstances and choices to be made, and suddenly there is a chipmunk in the road ~ she scurried to the side and I made my way to work, completely immersed in tears and thoughts concerning the encounter. Do I take it as a “random” sighting or something deeper? I know what I want/NEED to hold onto, but of course, my head and what “sense” I have left after years of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial struggle leads me to a place of science and reasoning and yet, this time, in fact from now on, I’m going to allow myself the comfort and consolation that seeing the little creature gives me. I’m putting aside all the learned reasoning, scientific certainties and perhaps what most would call coincidence. I’m taking for myself, in this instance, a symbol of my Mom’s presence to reassure me that I have the capability to make the right decisions and the strength to follow through ~
Posted on: Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:00:46 +0000
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