Marla Lillibridge 8 hours ago via mobile Update: Sunday November 24, 2013 8:30 pm Amber pulled through her therapy like a prize fighter. She insisted on pushing her limits to further her journey down the healing road. She was so tired and looked to me to wake her up. I gently wiped her face with a cool cloth, lowered her trapeze handle, and watched her reach and grab for the bar. Her tiny hands grasped the bar and she pulled with all her might while the therapists moved her legs to the bed side. As she sat there, she wobbled to the right then left, back and forth. Her eyes widened with determination as she steadied herself in finding her center of balance. The therapists worked her arms by having her tap out motions hand to hand with theirs in a circular form. I could see small beads of sweat form on her brow as she did her exercises. They moved onto her legs and I watched my baby girl assist in the lifting of her legs for the first time. I could see how painful it was as her face twisted with each movement. The therapists said she was doing some of the lifting of her legs. It made me proud. I know it has to be excruciating but she is so determined to do it. Later she told me that the core workout was really hard because of her incisions. I remember back when Amber was born by C-section. My nose was stuffy so I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose.. My reaction afterwards was a loud OWWW!! As the searing pain from my tiny 4 inch incision ripped through my body. Amber has MANY abdominal incisions. The largest spanning hip bone to hip bone from the pelvic reconstruction with too many staples to keep track of. Along with that, theres the G-tube and several small incisions that were made for catheters, laparoscopic instruments, and whatever else they used. But still, that baby grabbed that bar like she owned it. She bent side to working her ab muscles with a focused look on her face. She was exhausted by the end and readily accepted her pain meds later and even pushed her sleeve up for the shot. Normally her fear of needles would have rendered her completely stunned. Later her legs and ankles were hurting her and wrote to me that they should invent something to mimic my hands as they were the only thing that made her legs stop hurting. I was moved to tears as I looked at my hands later as she slept. I see age spots, dry skin, uneven nails, scars, and in general hands that look much older than I am. I remembered back to my working days earlier this year as residents would tell me I had magic hands as I worked with them, washed them, massaged their shoulders, and combed their hair, they told me that my hands were gentle with feeding them and although cold to the touch at times, they could feel love coming from them. I used to tease Amber about my hands saying guess what they did today? She would give a giggle and move away quickly as she thought of situations in the life of an STNA that may not be so pleasant to think about, but tonight, she held my hand, moved it to her cheek, closed her eyes and gave a contented sigh. I will hold that picture in my mind tonight as I try to rest. She wrote that theres no other hands that were there at the time to make her feel any better. I thank God every minute for my baby girl. She is so amazing. She continues to heal from her lung infection giving good, hard coughs as they suction her trach. She has difficulty bringing it up and out because its very thick and at times nearly takes her breath away. She crinkles her mouth and cheeks and her her eyes squint tight and water as she struggles to bring it up. The nurses are there helping her to stay calm as it is very frightful. I am in complete awe of her. She is so strong and promises to keep fighting. She said today visits are what makes her the happiest and is what gives her the greatest inspiration. She is working for many goals, especially being able to stand up for her friend Alexis Spitzer in September as Amber has the honor of being a first bridesmaid. It is something she has dreamed about only second to being a bride.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 10:36:12 +0000
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