Meghans Story For centuries horses have been used for a lot of things like, pulling wagons, helping gather cattle, ranch work, transportation, the pony express, they helped build America, and they even carried or soldiers as they fought with them in war. Now you get to see them in a whole new way. I was diagnosed with a Autism Spectrum Disorder known as Asperger Syndrome at a very young age, No one seems to understand what its like living with a autism spectrum disorder. The type of autism I have seems to be the most misunderstood. All people with autism share some similar struggles but are affected in many different ways. Because of my autism I never been good at socializing or making friends with people, It is almost impossible for me to makes friends. I have a disability that no one can see, not all disabilities are visible, mine are invisible. When I was a child, Every night before I went to sleep, I would pray to God and Jesus and ask, “Please give me a true friend!” My Christmas list wish was to have just one friend. I did not understand why my prayers were not getting answered. On top of that I been bullied my whole life. The bullying started when I was a small child. I have been bullied and mistreated by many different individuals my entire life. People never seem to understand me. I never could grasp the concept or completely understand how they could judge someone that they truly did not understand or even know. None really instigated an attempt to understand me. I started telling my Mom everyday in the 3rd grade that I wished I was dead! I heard the doctor tell my Mom that Autism was a brain development disorder, So I asked if I could have a brain transplant. So that I could be accepted. I became angry at God for making me this way! My whole world began to fall apart. When I was a teenager is when it all got worse! My world was falling apart. I didnt have any friends at all! I never been ask to spend the night at a friends house for a sleep over, I never had friends to call or text like others my age did. I never been good at socializing or making friends with people because of my autism. So it was like I was trapped inside this body where I could not communicate or express how I feel appropriately. On top of that no matter how hard I tried people treated me like I was never gonna be good enough. I also struggled to live up to peoples expectations.I could never be perfect and society is cruel. I seemed to be every bullies favorite person to pick at. I been mocked, teased, laughed at, rejected, and judged for things that are way beyond my control. School was a living nightmare for me. They (The Bullies) called me names like fat, freak, retard. worthless, loser, ugly, annoying, and A LOT of other things. I even been told plenty of time to go kill myself, They even told me that God put me here as a joke, that Im a mistake. They said unimaginable things to me. I also have a learning disability. So the school discriminated against me for that and I was not learning anything in school. I would just learn that I was all these horrible names they called me. The students at the school I went to, Made me feel like a parasite who infected the world. The bullies would also trip me in the halls at school, They would start rumors about me, Say things that wasnt true, They would even push me out of the lunch lines. When I would cry or become upset and have a ‘meltdown’, they would stand there and laugh. I was not able to defend myself from the bullying. It was like I was suffering from my Autism Spectrum Disorder. There were so many things that I did not understand. No one wanted to be my friend, And I did not understand why. I didnt understand their sarcasms. To me they were being rude and mean. When I would react with hurt feelings, they would either laugh at me or say I was weird. It was as if I was on this crazy alien planet- and I was the alien! Just when I thought I had made a friend, they would leave me and not want to have anything to do with me. I couldnt understand what I had done wrong. I was the awkward outcast girl in school that no one wanted to sit by, talk to, or be friends with. I felt like a big reject. I even had problems with my teachers. They told my Mom and me that I was being manipulative. They would say that I looked like I was a normal kid and that there was not anything wrong with me except that I was spoiled. There was even times when the teachers would make us pick groups and have a partner, No one wanted me in their group, They would fight about having to be partners with me. I become broken, And lost. It was like I was broken and lost in a world that did not want me. The teachers and the principle even allowed the students to bully me. There was one time the teacher gave the other students permission to bully me. Most teachers would call me a liar when I would reach out for help with the bullying. I had problems learning and the teachers would say that I was unteachable. The school board refused to help me with the bullying. I would even get told Its life deal with it. Or I would get called a liar and they would defend and take up for the bullies. The teachers just labeled me as difficult or unteachable. They even sent me to a school where the kids go who get in trouble. I was treated like a prisoner there. I even got voted off all the lunch tables, I had to eat lunch in the bathroom, Because No one wanted me at their table. One time at a field day the teachers, principle, And school made me participate in the games. We were playing base ball, I hit the ball wrong, And all the other students on the team were yelling at me, And making fun of me, The team I was on blamed me for them losing the game, Then one boy punched me in the stomach, And the team mates were spitting on me. The teachers did not care that this happened. The very first thing they also did when I got Diagnosed, Was the Doctors put me on Medication. I been on over 500 different types of medication through out my life, It made me gain weight. So I am Plus-Sized, I always been bigger and heavier then others. People always make fun of me and treat me differently because I am Fat they say! It really hurts me. All. through Middle School, And High School, The boys and other students always talked about how ugly, And Fat I am. I was rejected by lots of people. I still from this day get told, That Im not pretty, And get judged because I am bigger. I then began making myself throw up after I would eat. I felt guilty every time I ate. I even tried to starve myself. I even get told, That I am stupid. I become so afraid of people. The medication caused me a lot of problems. I always would hear thoughts in my head telling me that the things the bullies said to me was true. I become suicidal as a result. I started taking pills, And tried to over dose. It never worked. I even remember in high school the boys getting into a fist fight because they didnt want me in their group for the class project, And I got in trouble by the teacher for it. It got so bad to where I was showing signs of bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I would always hear the bullies voice in my head telling me the hateful things they said to me. They play over and over again as if they are on a continues loop. that never stops. I become suicidal as a result.They acted like I had a disease that was contagious, And they didnt want near me. I even felt like the most ugly girl to walk the earth, I hated myself, And who I was. Because of the things people said to me, I would lay in bed at night and cry... Cry because I thought I was ugly, Cried because of all the comments people would say. I would never sleep at night, I would stay up all night and have panic, And anxiety attacks about what was going to happen the next day, Just to get through the day was a endless chore for me. I was becoming a different person, A person I did not want to be. I then was diagnosed with depression, And anxiety. I also would have mood swings from all the things I went through. One hour I could be happy, Then mad, Then sad, I become manic depressed because of the bullying and the things people did to me. I became psychotic. I self harmed Ive sat in silence and cried plenty of times. Ive let it defeat me, Made me think Im worthless, I let the burden of my thoughts get to me. What people do not seem to understand is that, bullying and depression affects People in ways that others do not seem to understand. It makes you lash out in ways that no one understands. Only some one who is going through this will know what its like, Hurting, And feeling pain and sick on the inside, While you look fine on the outside, No one seems to know what its like until you go through it. I then began to hate myself, Like I was my own worse enemy. I hated myself and who I was. I felt like, And thought that I am the most ugly girl in the world, I hated everything about me, I hated my skin, my body, and my hair. I had to even go to a mental hospital. I was also bullied there. I wished that I was dead most of the times, I thought that if I killed myself it would all be better. I was becoming a different person. I didnt know or understand why no one liked me, Or accepted me. I just couldnt understand why I had to live this unhappy life! It also seemed like everyone gave up on me. I tried to kill myself. I had to drop out of school at the age of 16. I was not able to go to high school. I was only able to go one year to high school. I could not take it anymore. I ended up trying to kill myself. I tried going to a charter school I was bullied the same way there too. I got rejected by other schools I tried to go to. So I was not able to get a education like others. I was having trouble finding my place in this world. I thought that I did not belong here. I thought that I was put here as a mistake, It felt like I had nothing to live for. I began to have a war with myself, It was as if I was my own worse enemy. it seemed like suicide was my only answer. Just as I wanted to kill myself and end it all something amazing happened. I had horses when I was a young child, But was not able to keep them because we moved to the city. I have always loved horses and begged my parents for a horse for years. The very first time I rode a horse was when I was 4. My Dads friend let me ride his horse Mouse. As soon as I got on Mouse he went to bucking because something scared him. My Dad said I did a summer sault in the air and fell off. I got up and said That was fun, can we do that again?! I got right back on that horse. I always thought about that day. When I thought all hope was gone I met a very special horse named The King Elvis. My parents decided to let me get another horse. I went to my Dads friends house to a farm. He had many different kinds of animals. He introduced me to the horse that I was going to get to take home. He was a old rescue horse who was rescued from abuse and slaughter. I met The King Elvis. When I first met him I laughed because he had a lip that hanged down and I thought to myself What happened to this horse? I then began to look closer at the horse. He has many different scars. The biggest scar was on the side of his face. He was missing part of his cheek bone and he had nerve damage from abuse so his lip hanged down and he had no feeling on that side of his face. My dads friend told me Life has not always been good to him! His drooping lip brought the inspiration to his name, The King Elvis. They told me I would be the perfect owner to show him the tender love and care, and compassion that he needed. That is when I realized the horse was just like me. When I looked at the horse I could see myself. I realized that the horse was a lot like me. I had things in common with this horse because we were scared of people and had trust issues. We both had scars. He had more physical scars that people could see, I mostly had emotional ones. For the first time I met The King Elvis I felt my world began to change. My life had a turning point. When I looked in to the eyes of this horse I could see and feel the healing hands of God. I felt nothing but love. The King Elvis saved my life and I saved his life. He saved me more then what I saved him. He saved me in ways no one else could. I would go out and ride him for hours. When I had a bad day, I would either ride him, or just lay my head on his shoulder and cry my eyes out. He would never move to get away from me. He always made me feel better and I knew he would always be there for me to ride, talk to, or cry on his big brown shoulder. Me and that horse had some adventures together. He always knew how to make me laugh and smile. He was my symbol of hope and happiness. The King Elvis even helped me turn my Autism in to a gift. The King Elvis gave me compassion when no one else would. Helped me over come disabilities when no one else could. He was even there for me when no one else was there for me. He was able to teach me new things. That horse even re-built my battered self esteem. I even got to compete in horse shows and rodeos. I was finally able to succeed at something. I won 1st and 2nd place at the horse shows and it made me feel good about myself because for once in my life I could win at something and not have something take over me. I then began to work with all kinds of different horses. Mostly older horses. I loved to jump and barrel race more then anything. My Autism became a lot more mild. The Autism is still there but is now a gift. My family even seen a difference in me. I never was able to smile until I got on the back of the horse on The King Elvis and got to ride. I never felt so free and happy in my life. Before horses I tried all those Autism therapys but none of them seemed to work. The only thing that helped me was the horses and riding. I then started to use horse riding as a type of therapy. When I climb in the saddle all my problems I have just melt away. When I ride I feel like I am on top of the world, It feels like I can conquer the world. The Autism melt downs even started to go away. I am able to over come depression and anxiety with the horse. I no longer suffer. I finally found my place and happiness in this world. I believe that the horse can be a strong cure for depression and anxiety. Horses made a huge difference in my life. Horses give me the courage to face the world around me. I know they say there is no known cure for Autism, but horses help! If you give them the chance they will help. The horse has opened up a whole new world for me. There is a healing power in horses and I am living proof of that. I can see the healing hands of God when I look in to their eyes. Horses have really saved my life. From this day they still continue to save me and help me over come obstacles no matter what may stand in my way! The horse is what gave me my voice! I then became aware of horse slaughter and the round ups to wild horses. I did research and did all I could do to learn about horse slaughter and round ups. I then became very passionate about it. I became a horse advocate for horses both domesticated and wild. I made my own Facebook pages and joined advocacy groups to help stop horse slaughter and round ups. I try my best to educate others about the horrors of horse slaughter, abuse, and round ups. Horse slaughter and the round ups of wild horses in inherently cruel. there is no reason for them. They do it for greed and money. Americans do not eat horse meat for cultural reasons. Horse meat is also toxic. Horses are raised as companions and pets - not food animals. Horses are given medications that they need to survive such as worm medicine, bute, and more. Horses are given these medicines that have toxic substances that the FDA forbids in animals that were made for human consumption like cows, chickens, pigs, and fish. Horses were not put here to be slaughtered. The BLM (Bureau of Land Management) are rounding up wild horses for no reason at all. All they want is money. They round them up with helicopters or by land and shove them in filthy holding pens. They get taken from their families. The wild Mustang Horses are in great amounts of danger. They are almost extinct. They try to tell lies about why they round them up. The reason why they are doing this is because they want the mineral rights on the land and they want to replace the horses with cattle. They are even sending the wild mustang horses that they round up to slaughter. The mustang is a american icon. Horses form bonds and become close to their friends and families to separate them from their friends and families terrorizes them. The horses that are being rounded up are just as scared as I was when I had to go to school. They are taken to a strange place where they are bullied and abused. I know how they feel. I know how scared they are. I know for sure how these mustangs feel. They are happily living with their families; safe and secure in their own little worlds. Then these scary people come and turn their world upside down. I know they are scared, confused and stripped of everything they knew and had. They are taken to strange places and mistreated. Alone and separated from their families. It is now my mission to save these horses. I have dedicated my life just to save them. The horse gave me my voice when I could not speak for myself. So I will continue to fight for them. The wild Mustang horses earned their freedom. The horse is what helped built America. So all I want is to see these horses run free. Horses even help some people do things that they can not do on their own like walk, run, and jump. They also comfort you and accept you for who you are they love you unconditionally. Being a horse advocate has taught me one important thing in life.... ALWAYS stand up and speak out for what is right, Let your voice be heard. What is the point of life, When you cant stand up, speak out, or fight for whats right?... ALWAYS stand up. Horses have helped me fight my battles and win my wars. Now it is time for me to do the same for them. I even wrote a poem for the wild mustang horses who lost their freedom, And life from the BLM. Called, The American Wild Mustang- I was loved in the hearts of the beautiful people. I was their symbol of hope, And freedom. I was also a symbol of Power, Grace, Beauty, Nobility, Strength, But most of all when people seen me running free, It gave them a strong motivation for life. Some say that we earned our freedom, We even fought with our soldiers as we carried them to war, I even helped build America. As I am a big part of history.... I am the American Wild Mustang! Then, one terrible day, The King got sick- and when we went to call the vet, he died in the barn and was taken from me. It was the most painful day of my life. The day that he died was the day that half of my heart and soul died. I will never forget the day that King went away. Here is a poem I wrote for the King Elvis: “The King Elvis I remember the day I came to save you, I knew that I needed you as much as you needed me. This is the place I will stay, this is the place I will be, forever just you and me. When I looked into your eyes and you looked into my eyes, it was like you could read my mind. You would never let me fall behind. I knew you were treated bad, and I knew you were sad. You would never give up on me as I would never give up on you. Oh, how could anyone do this to you, you have two big brown eyes full of love and a heart of gold. I will never let you go. You are the part of me that I need, the part that makes me complete. You are the true meaning between love and friendship. You take my pain away. On a rainy day you brighten my days. You make my world a better place. I will never let you fade away you are here to stay.” R.I.P The King Elvis, we will never forget you, You are a real Hero, I cry just a Little when i think of letting go, I will never let go! The day you died was The day half of my heart and soul died, You rescued my heart and soul! You saved my soul! When I was lost you made me found! I now dedicate all my advocacy work I do for the horses in remembrance of The King Elvis. After The King Elvis was gone I started to get sad and feel alone because I need horses in my life. I met a very special friend named Elaine Nash on Facebook. I met her in a Facebook group known as I Oppose Horse Slaughter In The USA! She seen my post and became very worried. Elaine was all the way in New York City and I was in Texas. She did something I thought would be impossible. She became a good friend of mine and always sent me beautiful gifts in the mail. Then, one day she asked if she could speak to my mom. I didn’t know at the time that she asked my mom if she could help get me a new horse. She asked if we would be able to go get the horse if she found one in Texas, where we live. Then she asked her if we had every watched The Black Stallion movie. My mom told her that no, that is the one horse movie we had missed. Elaine told my Mom that she was negotiating with the owner of the two year old grandson of Cass Ole- the horse that played the black stallion in the movie! My mom told her ‘yes’, but she did not tell me anything about what was going on. My mom really didn’t think Elaine’s plan was real. Then, a couple of days later, Elaine called back and wanted to talk to my Mom again. She asked my Mom if we had seen the movie yet, we hadn’t we were having trouble finding it. Then Elaine told her that she would love for us to be able to watch it because they had purchased the horse. My Mom remembered that we had Neflix and when she looked, she saw that the movie was available. Elaine came up with the idea that my mom and I would watch the movie after school one day, and when the movie was over, my Mom would tell me that Elaine wanted me to call her to talk about the movie. So after the movie I called Elaine. We talked about the beautiful stallion in the movie, and then she told me that she had a surprise for me- she had arranged for ME to have the last son of that very stallion! She had gotten me the very beautiful black Arabian gelding, Cass Ole’s Beau! I was so excited, and I couldn’t believe someone had done this for me! Now I am the proud owner of the beautiful Cass Ole’s Beau- who looks a lot like is daddy. We call him Beau for short. He is a real sweetheart with a big personality! Beau was not trained to ride and was too small for a rider at the time. So Elaine knew I needed a horse to ride for therapy reasons. So she started looking for me a horse to ride. Her friend from Canada joined in searching for a horse. A 17 year old girl from Canada named saw a post from Elaine about this on Facebook, and decide to help Elaine make a website called A Horse For Meghan, to help let people know about the search for the perfect riding horse for me. Months went by without the right horse for me being found. Then, one day Elaine called and told my mom that contacted a lady near us in TX, who’d posted an ad with a horse that was a good candidate. Elaine spoke with her a few times, and the outcome was that the lady had decided to give me her wonderful 17 year old Tennessee Walking Horse if she was a good fit for me. . She’d had the Ebony for over 14 years and she wanted her horse to have a special home. My story had moved her to decide to give Ebony to me as a gift. When went to meet Ebony, it was clear that she really was perfect for me in every way! I know have Ebony, and The Great Cass Oles Beau as my very special horses. I will never get over The King Elvis, as he still holds a very special place in my heart and is now a part of me. I am now learning how to train horses with The Great Cass Oles Beau. Elaine then arranged for me to meet Pat and Linda Parelli, creators of the Parelli Natural Horsemanship programs. One of their features is a special web site called Parelli Connect, which is like Facebook. Members help each other learn how to train horses naturally. Elaine told me she had signed me up, and she wanted me to learn his natural horsemanship techniques to train Beau. I also got to meet and attend a Parelli course with Christie Raines, a wonderful four-star Parelli Professional. I even got to join a organization through YEA (Youths Equine Alliance). I met my very special friends Denise and Robin. They then arranged for me to come out to Las Vegas to meet them. I got to meet the Wild Mustang Horses of Cold Creek Nevada. They touched my heart. When I met these horses it gave me a strong motivation for life. So I will do all I can to protect them! I even made good friends with my special friends Robin, Denise and other members in the YEA group! joining YEA has also changed my life and helps me in so many ways! Robin, Denise, Elaine, And my other friends in YEA taught me that not all people are bad and that I can trust people again. I was even able to give a speech to help save the wild mustang horses. I plan to give speeches and speak out just to save the horses. I will do anything to save them. I even plan in the future to open my own horse rescue. For right now I will do my best to educate others. I will do anything just to save them. I even plan to speak out against bullying and to help others who go through what I went through. The horse is what gave me my voice. I plan to help make this world a better place for horses and people like me. I want to give hope to others and inspire others. Horses are a symbol of Hope, Power, Grace, Beauty, Nobility, Strength, And Freedom, And a lot of other things.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 05:38:08 +0000