Melinda wrote.. Dear Left & Right Hand, Today makes our 6th year ampuversary. Not a day goes by I dont wish for you both back. They say prosthetics will become second nature over time,but thats a lie. it is work, content thinking,frustration, stress,blood,sweat and lots & lots of tears. I remember walking in a dark room and grabbing something because I knew where it could be,and the way you could touch to guide me was easy. I miss the way you both covered my eyes in the dark or from the bright sun light,protecting them from harm. Now 6yrs later I have to turn a light on and use my eyes to touch in your place. I never had to think twice before, we did anything together. I miss your long natural finger nails and those compliments we would get daily on how they were painted or shaped. I miss the rings you held as a sign of love or just fashion and the watch you carried on your wrist to always keep me on time. I miss you holding the handle bars of my harley davidson and giving that sweet 2 finger wave to another biker. I miss holding on to the handle bars of our four wheeler as we rode through the woods and the mud holes. I miss the 4 finger wave you gave to other vehicles as we drove down the road in our 94 camaro Z28 from the steering wheel. Im so greatful we did these next things together for 16yrs but I miss helping to dress my kids,comb their hair and the tickle fights with them. I miss the rough housing with the kids and them pushing your fingers back til I said mercy or uncle. Life was easy in everything we did. I remember thinking less and doing more. I miss the ability you both gave me to order through a drive thru and use real money/change and then actually eating while driving. I miss baking cute detailed deserts for everyone. to my right hand, I miss your hand shakes to greet people and your ability in assisting my left hand holding things while we painted or made crafts. I miss you holding the steering wheel as we drove fast to race little boy punks. I miss you throwing a ball or Frisbee. I miss the way we could use a keyboard and without looking, type in all the production numbers at work. to my left hand, I miss the way you would write my name. I miss the way we would draw every night. I miss the way you could paint with such detail and speed. I miss holding a cigarette out the window as we drove. to my 10 fingers, I miss your ability to scratch my itch. I miss your assistance In daily dressing,showering and shaving. I miss the feeling of hair products sticky between you, and the way you did my hair perfectly front and back ( i miss daily!). I miss the freedom you all gave me to work and be independent without second guessing. I miss how you all worked quickly and the compliments we would get at every job we ever worked together because of your ability to work fast and the money was better. I miss the ability to secretly text on my cell phone without looking in my pocket. I miss the feeling of holding another persons hand. I miss giving a massage. I miss touching textures. I miss petting our pets. I miss intimate touches. I miss drinking without a straw and holding a can or coffee mug. I miss the paper cuts. I miss getting you caught in our truck door because we were rushing. I miss the slivers of wood or metal youd have to dig out from each other. I miss your small size 5. I miss your clever way of telling someone off. I miss the way you held a wrench, screw drivers,hammers or a sander while we stripped our 79 camaro. I miss the dirt or oil youd have to wash off and scrub out of your nails. I miss the way we worked with the elderly clients, down syndrome clients, shaking baby syndrome clients, autism clients or the fast pace machine factory work in which I lost you all. To My Palms, l miss your 4 calluses on each hand proofing we werent afraid to work hard daily. I miss the rope burns from the horses and the donkey. I miss your grip (with your fingers help) I miss your softness when needed or your spankings when needed as well. I miss the sound of your claps. I miss how ticklish you were. I miss your hi five stings. I miss holding baby animals. I miss holding babies and toddlers. to my wrists, I miss how little you were. I miss wearing cute jewelry. I miss your carpal tunnel you both had. to my vein, I thank you so much for trying to save my left hand. Im so glad you were an extra part of my human body in my right leg. I, to this day dont understand how we have extra veins to just remove and replace. I dont even know if you remained in my left arm or was removed durning amputation. I do hope your still apart of me keeping the blood flowing. Those are just a few things I miss daily but life hasnt been to bad really. To replace your waves I now mostly nod at people and smile. I have both of your full arms to help me along. I can still do almost all daily lifes tasks. I can still shower. I can still shave. Im still doing my own hair (still embarrassed that I cant fully reach the back of my head). I do my own makeup. I can cook. I can do full house cleaning. I can mow the yard. I can lift heavy objects. I can still paint with detail (just alittle slower) & make some crafts. I can still wear rings on my toes and ankle braclets. I can still drive my ss camaro and now silverado truck just fine. I can still smoke & light my own cigarettes. I can greet people with a hug instead of a hand shake. I can wave my arm to say hello. Ive volunteered for hospice in the beginning and i know i can still help others in a different way. I can still enjoy my boyfriends harley now as a passenger. I can write my name with both prosthetic hooks, I can still stick my arm in an armpit to tickle someone and most importantly, I refuse to never give up on life with out you both. you both showed me the easy no brainer way of life and since you left me I have smiled more and love stronger. I use my brain to come up with new easier ways to lessen the stress ive had since you both were taken from me having both wrists crushed by a 50 ton punch press machine at work around 1:38ish in the morning of June 18,2008. With out you here, i made myself stay living in Arkansas for 4yrs with only 3 real friends and forced myself to remain independent and not babied. Mostly because I dont know where you both are. A part of me burnt like trash and I couldnt leave Arkansas and abandon you both. I still feel so lost inside not knowing. I have bettered my life around family now here in Connecticut for the past 3 yrs and I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me for me and treats me as a whole woman. My mother and twin sister are never to far away to lend me their hands when I need a pair. Their my 3 angels in amputation who go above and beyond to treat me equal, but never your replacements. My precious, beautiful left and right hand.i will NEVER forget the many,many joys you have given me in the 32yrs we were together. Ill continue to use my mind,body and soul to remain as good as I once was in your honor.May you patently rest and guide my prosthetic hooks until we meet and make my body whole again. your body
Posted on: Wed, 18 Jun 2014 13:30:00 +0000
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