Michelle Madsen one year I survived without my best friend. Your husband survived without his wife. As much as we used to hate when the army called me a survivor, josh and me... We are survivors. With the help of Celeste , Rick, Tracy, Jim Jim, and my sis..... We survived this year. I never wanted to have to survive without you my sister, but I did it. There are terrible days. the days Im overcome with guilt, anger, sadness, and longing for you are more frequent than the days where I can think of you and smile, but thats okay. I will mourn for you every single day of my life, because you are the most beautiful soul Ive ever known and life lacks some beauty without you in it. I sometimes wonder if youd be alive ... If I never left , but I know you wanted me to try . I live with a heavy guilt on my shoulders and Im sure I always will. I think of our days after Zanders death and nights spent in our temporary house with trashy tv, paint by numbers, sleeping during the day because I couldnt sleep at night and was always so scared, painting our nails, our living room fort so I didnt have to sleep in a bed , spooning all night, you waking me during nightmares. I remember the nights we spent with Celeste. The night pebbles took off and you chased her with a blanket wrapped around you and you tripped and fell and made me laugh for the first time since Zander died. I remember driving through mountain passes on our way to Washington and freaking out, but like always you took over and let me rest. Every meal you watched over me and encouraged me to eat, made me fresh homemade popcorn every single night.... Our first marathon and we did that together and in Zanders name. You did everything you could to keep Zanders memory Alive for me and with me. You tucked me in every night and woke me up every morning... Spent countless hours with me at therapy. Helped me figure out the perfect Mothers Day gift for Celeste, so I didnt have to do it alone. The list could go on and on You were my everything Cheche and Im standing today because of you... You saved me and I wish I could have saved you...happy one year in heaven my sweet sweet sister
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 12:24:01 +0000
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