Mom Post: Could you please post this? First, let me say I am a mom AND a stepmom, before anyone jumps to conclusions and thinks Im biased. I cannot for the life of me understand how biomoms get labeled with Golden Uterus Syndrome yet a lot of stepmoms act this same way, except the kids are NOT THEIRS and get sympathy. The term Golden Uterus Syndrome itself ticks me off. I know there are exceptions to what Im saying but for the most part, its one of those modern things like Stepmothers Day that was deemed a holiday fairly recently to be like a band aid on the boo boos of SMs who did not birth these children and suddenly came into their lives seeking recognition. I mean, COME ON. Women need to realize that in most cases, the birth of said children came from the mother and father being either married or in a serious relationship. They most likely loved each other. They conceived a child. Obviously, it doesnt always work out, but someone new coming into the picture (no matter how miserable you try to say your partner was) does not change the fact that every child has ONE mother and ONE father and it is not them. I see all these posts on various pages like BM wants to get the kids bc DH is at work. What do I do? or BM said goodbye to her children at 6 oclock and came to say it again at and we refused to let her. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! The first thing I would do is take two seconds to remind myself that I am SM. Then Id think about how I would feel if someone tried to deny me the right to mother my children. If more people did that, unless their head is way far up their behind, itd keep a lot of conflict at bay. Us SMs were not there for the conception of SKs and it has nothing to do with us. If you interfere, youre saying one or both of these... 1) The father is incapable of handling HIS business or 2) Hes incapable of making decent choices (and that would include YOU since you were one of his choices). Its okay to have an opinion in your home but to try to play God in the lives of someone elses kids is unacceptable. When I was growing up, step parenting wasnt glorified like it is today. If you raised someone elses kids it was NOT for recognition. If you were good to them, you were praised without begging. There was no Lets take the mom to court for this or Lets make ______ pay more child support it was Lets do whatever we need to do to make sure these children are well taken care of, I sit here and wonder WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I cannot speak for everyone but when I got married, I made a commitment to make my husband happy and love him for the rest of my life. No where in my vows did it say anything about coming in like a wrecking ball, taking over the raising of my stepkids. NO MATTER how much I dislike their BM, she is their only mother. If what she is doing is not endangering my SKs then its not my business. I will never complain or grudge money my DH pays for child support. Not will I ever get in the middle of their decision making regarding their children. I KNOW he doesnt want her, their marriage is old news, and I dont have to be insecure about them coparenting. Jealousy is a big factor in why some women I know feel like they need to be in control. If your SO wants someone else, he will get them, regardless of whether you think you have it under control or not. Especially if thats how the relationship with the two of you came about. If hell cheat with you, hell cheat on you. DUH. If you truly love your , youd want them to live happily with as little conflict as possible. Most times, stepping out of the equation unless your opinion is asked by BOTH parents is the best way to obtain that. This misconception that step parents have the same rights as biological ones is crazy. RP ~Koo~ Absolutely No Bashing
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 18:38:18 +0000
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