Monday Share somebody needs this we are no better than the person that relapse Subject The Missing Hello Coach its me Ms.Missing in action. Im so lost and disgusted with myself.... But most of all Im so tired of being FAT..... This 12 weeks around I was determined and then I just hit a wall. A self inflicted wall called not communicating. Everytime I fail to communicate with you I fail. I read the team page and I just get pissed with myself for not being the best that I can be. For 22 years I was a Soldier killing fitness and living healthy then at the end of my career some really crazy stuff happened. I got really depressed to the point where I considered killing myself. I know it was only God who saved me. My doctor put my on depression medicine and I begin to gain weight at a rapid rate. The medicine had me craving everything except the kitchen sink. With that being said i gained 60 lbs over a 8 month period. When Im on the medicine my moods are stable but I eat out of control. When Im not on the medicine I have no desire to do anything. I look in the mirror and I literally get disgusted looking at what I see. Yet I struggle to make the change. The last two weeks have been so hectic and unexpected trip for work, another trip, and then family crisis. Im sorry I am rambling on..... I think what makes me most upset with myself is there are ppl on your page who want to pay for your meal plans but cant afford them. I have money but I cant control my emotions and my life..... I know God placed us in each others paths for a reason yet he cant carry out for me what I need to accomplish. Yesterday my Sister had a relapse with crack and when she called me I told her God can only do so much to help her overcome her addiction. All today Ive been thinking how is that just true of her situation. Its true of my situation to he brought me to your page months ago.... I have the money to pay for the meals. I follow them until life gets hectic then I give up.... He can only do so much for me because the rest is up to me. Thanks for listening....
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 12:04:14 +0000
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