Mornin yall...I slept ok, I had a hurtful day yesterday. Since my divorce, my kids dont speak to me anymore...they have their own lives I know, but they have deleted me out of their life...I dont know what Ive done or said to piss em off, but they have left me for dead n dont care...My moma has made mistake after mistake, n I am still their for her n will b...u cant live on the past, n the present n future r Gods gift to us, to not relive or hold on to bad times. Ppl seem to run their mouths, when they should mind their own business...I could throw blame to some that have caused this hurt to me, but I will let God handle them, n he will...I have to say if I cant b loved while Im alive, dont come to say u love me when Im dead! My kids mean more to me than my own life, n would b there if they would let me, but I cant do that...There was interference w/ my raising my kids, n they listened to the ones that never raised a kid on their own...my childhood was a nightmare, n I promised God n myself I wouldnt treat my kids they way I got treated, n I didnt, still, I am the bad person...a mother knows, a mother hurts, a mother is not perfect, but when u give birth to 3 beautiful kids, now grown, they just shut me out of their lives, n my granddaughters life, then I say, its them that has the problem. I didnt teach them to b cowards, or disrespectful, but it wasnt me they listened to or God...this makes my life empty, n it hurts deeply...when I turn to God, he reassures me of the peace Im gonna have when I get home...to my kids, I know Im already dead to u, so it want matter to u when I am gone...
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 13:29:22 +0000
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