Most Hilarious Extracts From Real Funny CVs How thorough is your CV? It’s suicidal if it has one of those grammatical errors that just don’t make you look good. Worse still if what you are writing doesn’t seem to make sense. Take a look at these hideous mistakes which were retrieved from real resumes and published on Fortune Magazine. 1. ‘I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.’ 2. ‘I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.’ 3. ‘I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.’ 4. ‘Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.’ 5. ‘Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.’ 6. ‘Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.’ 7. ‘It’s best for employers that I not work with people.’ 8. ‘Let’s meet , so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.’ 9. ‘You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.’ 10. ‘Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.’ 11. ‘I was working for my mom until she decided to move.’ 12. ‘Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.’ 13. ‘I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.’ 14 ‘I am loyal to my employer at all costs….Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.’ 15. ‘I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. ‘ 16. ‘My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.’ 17.The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. 18. A few weeks after a young man had been employed; he was called into the Human Resources administrator’s office. ‘What is the meaning of this?’ the personnel officer asked. ‘When you applied for this job, you told us you had three years experience. Now I have discovered this is the first position You’ve ever held.’ ‘True’, the young man answered with a smile, ‘in your advertisement you said you wanted a person with imagination.’ Have your CV written by professionals here at Human Resource Consulting Ltd at an affordable fee. Contact us through o711149392, hmconsultingltd@gmail or inbox us
Posted on: Sun, 18 Aug 2013 02:06:51 +0000
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