“Murphy’s Law – Hawaiian Style” There will be a - TopicsExpress

“Murphy’s Law – Hawaiian Style” There will be a minimum of 5 different types of chicken at a potluck. A girl in Hawai`i reaches maturity when she reads the Long’s ad before the Sunday comics. The chance of being able to divide a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much you want to share it. Life is what your parents let you make of it. The best way to catch up on old friends, is to shop weekly at Longs. The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice. Never insult a person who is bigger than you or named Sua. Rugby is the Samoan form of therapy. Never talk to haoles in pidgin, they may try to answer back. When all else fails, say you’re a tourist. Clouds always have a way of following you to the beach. A luau is when pig is served and made of oneself. In Hawaii the extended family could include half the islands. The best waves for surfing will always break while you’re in school. The poi dog you got free from a friend will always be smarter and cuter at their house. If you think you’ve got it bad, try being a tourist stranded at Waimanalo Beach Park. The only good pigeon is one that can’t fly higher than your head. There is always one more cockroach. Be wary of a Hawaiian who says he lives in Kahala but got a District Exception to Farrington. A mango a day might not keep the Doctor away, but that’s one way to get rid of them. The ume will always be in the last corner of the musubi. The Kim Chee you ate three days ago will always resurface while you’re on that important date. Just when you think you’ve met the girl of your dreams, her five older brothers tell you otherwise. The guy you’re crazy about will always ask you out on a night you have to go to a family gathering. In Hawaii the legal age for drinking is 21 and the legal height is 5′-1″. If you buy a new dress for a party, the chances are that someone else at the party was also shopping at Ross’s. If an invitation says dinner at 6 PM (Hawaiian Time) you can safely assume they mean 7:30 PM. Formal in Hawaii is a T-shirt without pukas and new slippas. When in doubt talk pidgin, when in trouble talk Hawaiian. When there’s a long line at Oceans and you want to impress your date, the doorman you know will have called in sick. The chance of you losing the top of your shave ice is directly proportional to how long the line was. On the day you start your diet, someone will bring a bag of malasadas to the office. The page you need in the public telephone booth will always be missing. The best place to find a Tongan or Samoan during the day is in a tree. The prerequisites for the Honolulu Police Department are a 4-year varsity letter, a Portuguese last name and healed acne scars. Bad luck is an asthmatic caught behind a bus in rush hour traffic. The guy you’d least like to dance with will always approach you when a slow song is playing. You know it’s time to leave the disco when the best looking men are the bouncers and the best looking women are the waitresses. A non-smoker will always be seated next to a smoker at Oceans. When you’re out with that special guy, your cocktail waitress will always be skinny, blond and young. When you’re in a rush to get somewhere, you’ll always end up driving behind an old person in a Toyota Camry. Whoever invented saimin must have also invented SPAM. If at first you don’t succeed, quit before you “make A.” Lol #Aloha & Happy Sunday